I was on the verge of
Losing it.
Tears, angry ones,
Face in the palms,
Sweating through my glasses
And back into my eyes

I could not explode
Here…
I could not let myself
Detonate in the house.
In the sanctuary.
In the calm space.

But the calm space is exactly where
The pain pulses
Through the pipes
And wires.

So I have to hide it again.
Take a breath and wait

Because I know it will start over

It always does
Because meltdowns only stop
When the brain ends.