I’m not sure we have much in common Gary –

I don’t collect samurai swords

Or live with my Mammy,

And I can see you’re very proud to have been to Benidorm

But to be perfectly honest, it just makes me yawn…

No – I don’t watch any football –

I have no interest in it, not at all…

Do I want some naughty fun?

Not with you, no – And don’t call me hun,

Oh, we’re all like this are we?

Well, that’s reassuring to know it’s not just me

At least on that one point

We both can agree.