Book the room card ending in

Some crevice of The Alpine Inn

 

Make sure to get 2 double beds

One for sleeping, one for sex

 

Pack us something light to eat

You’re gonna need your energy

 

Lots of water on location

For fending off the dehydration

 

Don’t worry, it won’t all be sweat

But it will get very wet

 

Possibly enough for you

To have a side effect or two

 

If we’re lucky you may manage

To forget the English language

 

Hope the bathroom counter holds

As all of my plans unfold

 

Leave the maid a hefty tip

For ruining all the things we did

 

For nearly breaking down the door

And soaking through the carpet floor

 

Expect a call about the madness

And the state of that poor mattress

 

I’m sure you know the adage

Leave not a stone undamaged

 

I’ll drain you physically and mentally

But goddamn what a memory

 

We’ll cancel that one card of mine

To avoid the crazy fine

 

So go ahead book the room

Starting Friday afternoon