Poem #17 (Loss of me j.r.m©)

You’re on video call
seeing you sleep 
like a child gives
my heart assurance.
…and even though
your body is giving way
your blooming heart carries you
forward. Your burst of
enthusiasm, your zeal, your passion
is something I have always 
wanted to emulate into
my life but, somehow for 
some reason I just can’t bring 
myself to adopt it in my life.
It’s one of those things 
that I am willing to forego
as my inability, something
that just isn’t etched in my
DNA. I lack the patience
to tolerate the trivialities
of mediocrity, which you do
so effortlessly.

I have realized that being this
close to someone is destructive
for my heart, but I chose you anyway.
You’re 46, I am 28,
The odds are not in our favor
everyone around us is holding a
grudge with their spikes up in the air
ready to attack the foundation
of our relationship.
Sometimes it gets overwhelming
as to how we get dragged into these
petty games. Life has played many a cruel 
joke on you and I, to meet you at this age,
for you, I can only imagine how hard it is 
to rearrange your life at the age you are at, 
To make matters worse there’s the distance 
factor playing a major role in our lives,
9,815 km separates us, yet here we are
stronger than ever. I have found my best
friend in you, You have carved a niche
in my heart, slowly gradually expanding…
vacating the other things that  once occupied
some place in my heart. Things that mattered
before, with much significance have become
utterly insignificant. Yes I know I sound like a
lovesick manic but…. 

what I am trying to say is I have never been afraid 
of death until I met you. 

Loving you is a life long journey
learning first handed the truth 
about love. It’s not all rainbows 
and sunshine. Love will break you
before it teaches you about its nature. 

You mean the world
and losing you would mean the end 
of me.


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