DogSpeak #4 Scratch and Sniff
You’re thinking I’m Houdini,
right? Maybe Houndini, ok
It’s instinct, at least I think it is.
You scratch my ear, and please do
and often; I tilt my head, my eyes
glass over, and I moan that same moan
as when you give me that big cow leg
filled with peanut butter –
and that’s not even the Houdini part.
No, but then, when you stop,
I insist on sniffing your scratching finger.
No one told me to do this, it’s not listed
in the Dog to Human User Guide, apparently
not something posted on facebook or twitter
or insta-whatever, I just know to do this.
I have to do this and you have to let me.
So long as you know you have to scratch
my ears, and no cheating by doing just one,
both, please, and then right away, I have to
sniff your finger, your knuckle, your whole
hand because I have to know what’s going on
in there. Curiosity takes over, are there crops
of onions or potatoes, oh, maybe seedlings
for tennis ball trees? Ok, groan. What,
a build-up of wax and how did it get there?
No x-rays; no cat scan, no felines allowed;
no lab results although Rover is part-lab
and he’s ok but even he can’t describe what
the inside of my ears smell like. I need to know.
I hypnotize you to do your scratching duty,
I’m mesmerized by the ecstasy of it and then
presto – let me sniff the scratch. Ok, want me
to scratch yours? Just kidding, groan.
~ J R Turek