I have always thought drowning
a more fitting death than being burnt alive.
Though I hope to be cremated,
my ears don’t wish to bear witness to my personal demise.
I can imagine the way the flame
licks my fingers, the sheer beauty of it
would amaze me. If only my nerves were burnt
away first. If only my vocal cords were shredded
by the smoke already. If only my eyes
weren’t tearing up.
How the earth shakes with every footstep I take,
but once I am submerged in water
it all goes away. Fades into another shade of blue.
Water is more forgiving, its weight
gives space for the whole wide world
to pass through with a mere ripple.
This bodice of water uncontained,
forever floating in the abyss. The air we breathe
is part hydrogen, and our water bodies attract
each other’s poles of magnetic particles.
I can imagine it would hurt. I tried it
a few times, holding my breath
until my lungs would explode.
Tried imagining if it would be the same as breathing
in outer space, expansion of the lung
ending in rupture and asphyxiation.
A once fervent and angry ocean
breathing out, its waves slow down,
and another person,
just gone.
Maybe it’ll end like all things,
ashes returning to ashes,
water returning to calm.