On Your Terms

content warning: talks about disability inspiration porn. and it’s derisive, as it should be 😛

I didn’t understand then
but time and space makes me realize
how much we put people like you (like me)
‘on display’.
You wanted, and so you did,
and it never mattered that you were blind.
How did you keep your patience?
Getting random ‘rewards’
simply for trying new things?
Being held up as an example?

How did you keep your patience?
Your hands were so soft,
and I told you I was afraid,
and you told me it was fine,
you had me.
And you did –
you knew what it was like to not see
and you lead me where we needed to go.

I don’t know how any of you didn’t scream.
People talked down to you, talked around you,
like being blind meant you couldn’t
and being deaf meant you couldn’t
and being in a wheelchair meant you couldn’t
but the whole time you – all of you – understood.

You helped me with a lot.
Sometimes, when I am scared,
and am blind to the future,
I remember your soft hands,
and the joking about how scared I was,
and the way you loved me
enough to guide me
through a silly, pointless activity.

Wherever you are now,
I miss you, but I like to think
that you’re happy.
Not successful in the way of
societal expectations,
But successful in the way of
a life on your terms.

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