He said “I didn’t mean to.”

He said “You know I would never hurt you.”

He said “But I love you”

Everything he said was a lie.

From the beginning it had all been a fucking lie.

He planned this.

From the moment he called and asked if his “best friend” would mind bringing him a pack of cigarettes and a soda and he would pay me when I got there.

It was a lie and I was simple and naive enough to believe it.

Captain save a hoe to the rescue.

See girl that’s why your mama always told you to sit your ass down.

Always told you to stop trying to have friends all the time.

I should have listened to mama.

Now I’m laying here sobbing and saying “no”.

Now I’m stuck.

Assaulted first by your hands.

Hands always so rough from years of farm work. A good country boy. I used to think they were nice. Now so rough, could they be knives instead? Because they are killing me. Cutting me to shreds but I cannot die. Why can’t I die? I have never wanted to more than in This Moment.

A mouth.

The same mouth spewing Venom.

Toxic words.

“I love you.”

A mouth replaces the knives.

A mouth soils me further.

Trash.

Broken.

Damaged goods.

That’s what I am now.

A final death blow.

The dagger to my heart.

Why is it called a penis?

It should be called a shotgun because with each pump it is spraying lead everywhere.

Shrapnel everywhere.

Explosives everywhere. Live bombs.

I am now a war zone.

The dead and broken lay on this battlefield. A Battlefield sopping wet with blood. Gettysburg 3.0.

Death has Dominion here now.

A final blow.

A gift you left inside me. Meant to grow and torture me for all eternity.

“I loved you.”

“I missed you.”

“Did you like it as much as I did?”

Shotgun to the Head.

I’m dead.