His beard is thicker than an otter’s pelt

His beard is softer than a chinchilla

His eyes are bluer than the sky

His eyes gleam brighter than headlights

When something interesting meets his eye.

He’s smarter than a genius

More clever than a fox

He’s good at playing word games

He could sell you your own box.

His hair is more golden than Rapunzel’s

His hair is straighter than a rod

Better than a cult leader,

He could convince you of his god.

His wisdom shines like diamonds

His charisma’s dark as pitch

His intelligence unquestioned

by both poor and rich.

He is the perfect lover,

He is the perfect man.

I’m lucky that I met him,

I’ll do everything I can,

To keep him.