Not okay – Hour 4

I am not okay
Some of the hardest words to say
When all I want is to see you smile
Just a little while
Before I walk away and close the door
To find myself surrounded by my fears and sorrows once more
The momentary shine I show you flickers
The fresh-faced bloom of peace withers

But God forbid that you should feel bad
If you catch a glimpse of me sad
Through these four words I must not utter
To make you ache from knowing there is little help you can offer
I’d rather hurt in silence
It does not matter

How could I possibly express
How important it is to me
That you enjoy my company
Regardless of which face I wear today
I hope that you can embrace
All my moods
All my layers
All my truths
All my prayers
So that someday
I might not be afraid
To say that
I am not okay

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