the irony- to be prompted to write about food.

i have barely written about anything else for years.

you’d think, i’d run out of things to say, about the very act of eating

it is necessary for my life

but still – so toxic

i say that weight is a see-saw,

i’m always on the down end,

or weight is an anvil,

and i’m crushed underneath it.

that fat isn’t a feeling,

it’s three letters, but

god, is it everything

this food-vacuum where eating sucks life from me

and all the years of bingeing, and rearranging my same self into different bodies-

i will never stop writing about food

not once

there is no greater enemy than a toxic necessity