Shatter (Brandy Goodman Poem #12)

I am emotionally stunted

Though most people don’t see.

It’s hard for me to get close

Even with a guarantee.

My heart wants to let people in

But my brain puts on the break

Because in one life

There’s only so much I can take.

My heart has always been tender

It was so easily hurt

That I had to build a wall

And learn to stay alert.

I couldn’t take in more hurt

I couldn’t take in all the pain

So I vowed to never

Be vulnerable again.

But that has made it hard

For me to be a wife or friend

It’s hard to be a sister, a daughter or a mother

I can’t seem to let them in.

The pain that I’ve endured in the past

Still haunts me today

So if I opened up

From pain I’d never get away.

So I stay behind the wall

Every year building it higher

One day the wall will shatter

And I’ll be suffocated by the smoke and fire.