Read this until you believe it. In my mind, I wanted to be the person to help you through, but my actions don’t know how to do that. Our relationship has always been complicated. You feel different to me. I carried the possibility that you “got” me. You had me opening my eyes to new experiences. It seems I never saw you clearly. I idealized the person that you were, and that left me confused about my lack of boundaries.
I provoke you, mostly because I’m unsure about my own self. You take me too personally. I told you that I was not going to fight for you to be my friend, and I felt you mask yourself. You started distancing yourself, then you attack me. I decided to fall back because I felt you trying to control the way I moved. I owe you nothing. You tried to discuss your depression with me, it makes me uncomfortable and I don’t even owe you a conversation. I know it comes off unfair but I don’t care because I have already shown you I was selfish. You chose to overlook it, and now you hold me to the fire. I only want to talk to you about positivity, be with you in your high moments. I know its shitty but I can’t be that for you. Even though you have always been there for me.
You have to learn to live with the fact that I am not you. I can’t see you and you can’t hold it against me because I never did.