We need to legalize marijuana.
Why?
Because it’ll lessen prison populations?
Because it’ll help fund our government?
Because it’ll help medical research?
No.
I just want to get high.

We need to legalize prostitution.
Why?
Because it’ll lessen STD spread?
Because it’ll increase tax revenue?
Because it’ll decrease a sex trafficker’s power?
No.
I’m just a horny guy.

We need to to restrict arms sales.
Why?
Because it’ll lessen school shootings?
Because it’ll lessen violent crimes?
Because it’ll lessen accidental deaths?
No.
If they weren’t so loud, I’d say “buy!”

We need to allow gay marriage.
Why?
Because it’ll foster a sense of equality?
Because it’ll help parentless children find homes?
Because it’ll help control overpopulation?
No.
I’m straight, but what if I decided I was bi?

We need to reform national security.
Why?
Because it’ll create trust in our governments?
Because it’ll let citizens be more willing to cooperate?
Because it’ll allow a real sense of security to ensue?
No.
I just have some nudes on my i… Phone

Damn.

I messed up the rhyme.