This is something I have struggled with and continue to struggle with, but am slowly coming to terms with. The poem reflects my attempt to add some humor to my situation.

 

I walk into the sweet shop

And see all my old friends

Cakes, chips, instant ramen pots

On aisles at every end

 

Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!

They all seem to scream

What am I doing? Why am I here?

I’d promised myself I would eat clean

I’d promised myself I would eat clean

The day before, and two days prior

How else will I ever get lean?

Yet my goals sink in the mire

Of voices, nasty voices, voices of my friends

 

I’m sweet and crunchy, says the cookie to me

We’re not even fried say the kettle chips

I’m three scoops a dollar today, says the tub of ice cream

How are you still thinking about this?

 

How am I still thinking about this?

Why am I still thinking about this?

Am I even thinking about this?

No.

I am thinking about…..

 

That paper that needs to be fleshed out

The midterm results that will soon be out

My laundry’s not done, summer’s coming up

And I still do not have a summer job….

 

An hour later, with an aching stomach

Heaving, I scale eight flights of steps

Disappointed, angry, cursing my luck

Why can’t I control myself?

 

I make goals, break goals

So many goals, so many rules

And I tire myself, my mind, my soul

Till I feel in control.

In “control”.

 

Is any life crisis, let alone mine worth this angst?

I don’t know, and am too tired to care

Any dinner for you? I say no thanks

Food now seems like a nightmare

 

When will I stop? How do I stop?

When will this obsessive cycle end?

But the next day, I am back at the same shop

Hearing the voices of old friends