Verse 1:
I have a cat, I call him Bob
He is a miserable sod
And his diet’s very strange
He eats my hair
Yes, it is very strange indeed
Because when it is time to feed
Then on my shoulder he’ll be perched
To eat my hair

Chorus:
He eats my eyes
He eats my nose
He eats my fingers and my toes
But above and most of all
He eats my hair
He eats my arms
He eats my teeth
He eats my nipples and my feet
But above and most of all
He eats my hair

Verse 2:
And he will never hunt the rat
Although it’s nice and big and fat
But I don’t think it gives a damn
Because it’s stuffed
Maybe he’s not even a cat
He’s eating too much hair for that
I kind of think he’s just a stupid ball of fluff

Chorus repeat

Verse 3:
I feel him climbing on my back
Just like a Candiru attack
He’s leaning in and sniffs around
Then eats my hair
I never know where he is at
Just like a normal fucking cat
But when I least expect it, then
He eats my hair

He eats my hair

He eats my hair