We are tendrils in the blue ether
a hairy water dragon of war
behold our enterprising hive mind
colonial, attractive to the eye
Observe us, we watch you back, in silence
Maneuvering, positioning
Forget what you think you know
and wonder into our domain
I’m impressed. Maybe because this prompt gave me a great deal of trouble. But you seem to have grabbed hold and tamed it.
I like the imagery, especially the “water dragon of war” line.
I find “colonial” confusing and “attractive to the eye” doesn’t say enough. Maybe expand on these details? Are you thinking of the creature as a colony or a colonizer? What is it colonizing? What, besides the obvious things we see which you’ve already described, make it attractive? I think of attraction as more emotional than physical. What emotion is evoked?
I love love love your last line! Did you mean to say “wonder” or did you mistype “wander”? Whatever your intent, don’t change what’s there please. “Wonder” gives that line greater depth.
Thank you for this awesome and thoughtful feed back!!!