The Poetry Marathon

It’s a new year for me to write poetry.  I have succumbed to my being divulging into the sea of prose and movie scripts till my rhymes start to fade. And my words slack.

Fortunately, the marathon is around the corner. I will be preparing for the day for it won’t be like the former. Be it morning evening and night because that bragging right is a slate I will be adding to the badges on my chest.

So, please welcome me, I’m ayGaius for short. And I’m ready to take that marathon by storm.

Are you ready with me?

As it is said of a Man’s journey (that he is always on a pilgrimage);

Wondering about the three basic things: food, clothing, and shelter.

At the beginning of the journey, his determination is so strong

That if his problems are high like Mount Everest there won’t have been a setback.

Along the way he made friends; some good others bad.

Did these change his thinking? Of course, it did.

Never in his life could he have found so much knowledge from such gatherings.

    Apart from humans, he made friends with animals too,

Some he drew close others he drew closer,

Some he turned their hides as coverings and dispersed.

As for his shelter, for a start, he slept on trees,

Then roadsides but as time moved on he got a roof for his head.

    Aside from this, he devoted time to his work releasing his energy unidirectionally.

Later, he became bored and sought out his friends.

    Alone he became, at his secret corner he felt a longing

So ripening,

Deep down in his heart, he hungers for a pure heart to fill his mind and soul.

Little did he know, he couldn’t get such even having married a beautiful fair damsel with a pure heart.

Although this gap was filled temporarily

As little offsprings came through.

He smiled at the joy on their faces.   

    At the fullness of time when his age has risen and journey deepening,

He realized there was no place like home.

He needs to return home.

    As do we all when the time comes.

We will return home soon or later.

Either alone, full, or with families.

I have a lot to tell you in little time

It goes way down deep in my soul

Makes me burst out with words

Listen! Only when you listen can you hear

Don’t worry about my mask it’s just a disguise

To hide the pain to take the blame

And its weight off my shoulders

Not that It did anyway

As soon as the sun disappeared into the dark musky clouds

Gone were my creepy friends who were once my world

I was left with heavy step

And it beats to the rhythm of my bleeding heart

I met a deceiver and became the Punch receivers

My life felt silenced with a threatening vacuum

Echoing in fragments of anxiety

Causing nerve breaking curiosity

My face became addicted to many powders and concealers

Did they conceal the pain?

I wish I had known many things before we met

Then I wouldn’t have settled for less

My love and compassion wouldn’t have evaporated into hatred

Hatred for myself

Why am I here?

These words I speak have shed on ink

Sade blamed  me but Laide didn’t

Although I wished I had spoken out

Way back, way before the red flags

Way before the heartbreak

Way before I lost my sanity

Way before my bondage

Way before the fight and the flimsy excuses

Way before…

Tick tock, the clock beeps

Bidding the time,

Plastering the cracks

Mending the tears

Seeking help

Searching for peace

Finding Justice

You see I have known the Fox

I have met its pack

But now, I am the wolf who has joined the Alpha

Look, you need to realize that you’re not alone

They may call you weak

But you’re strong

They may call you ugly

But you are beauty

You are beautiful

So beautiful you let your scars

Become badges, badges of honor

To remind you of how much you’ve conquered

What you’ve conquered

In inches, feet, and yards

In seconds, minutes, and hours

For days, weeks and months

For years, decades, and centuries

To remove the veil of your face

Discard the mask

You’re worth more than gold

The world is on its edge waiting for your manifestation

Age has never been the barrier

Show them what you’ve become

Let them see what you truly are

A generation needs your touch

Grab those horns and live for you

Discover yourself and break forth

Stretch, stretch to the horizon

Like the eagles

Begin to see God’s creation in this new view

So that others can see the world through you

You matter to this generation

Because you matter To me.

(more…)

To those who spend their days in warfare
To those who spend their night in shadows
Where sounds of bullets shield mortals life
Where death and pain fire with anguish and fear
Ringing like doorbells in the valley of death.
To those whose services were with and without
To those whose decisions were selflessly made
Where shells of valor stand in expression
Where roads of distress close in appreciation
Singing like melodies of the morning birds.
To those whose lives are to God
To those whose compassion is to Men
Where the Gospel of truth is placed in them as vessels
Where power was transferred as healing waters
Swaying like trees in the ocean breeze
Thank you, dear Soldiers
Thank you great ‘salters’
Thank you fear breakers
Thank you brave minded
To you
I say Thank you.
For restoring Law to order
For keeping our borders and waterways safe
For capturing terrorist fanatics crazed
For disarming evil wishes on the innocent race.
For the ones, we never knew by name
Yet you signed your life and aim
No words are sufficient to say,
Thank you.
God bless you.
——
In memory of our fallen soldiers and those who push for His Almighty and this country.

Have you ever wondered why is he is the way he is

Have you ever thought why you never see him during the day but at night

He has been called many names worst names

Some call him vampire others call him the nightcrawler

If you want an appointment we fix it at night

If you want to hang out we fix it at night

If you want a celebration we fix it at night

Because he says there is Joy in the night

He says

Don’t you feel the breeze blowing into your soul

Don’t you feel the silence whispering family

Don’t you hear the faint noise an amazing music

Don’t you see the light in buildings like a million Suns

The night itself is beauty

So beautiful it doesn’t need a Sun

The moon and twinkle stars do it Justice

Even the satellites aren’t left out.

Between the blank pages of my journal my pen and sticky notes, half the day passes especially on a holiday

Rising early from a deep slumber filled with my sweet dreams of honeycombs and candies

Penning down my thoughts and words to inspire me to a beautiful smile from the face of the radiant sun

Shining through my window leaving traces on my honey skin caressing my face softly

An hour in the bathroom doing my business thinking on what to wear and how to hear it

Wondering how the weather be, will it be raining or sunny? will it be windy or calming?

And off I went skipping breakfast grabbing a cucumber taking the long bus dropping at a terminal strolling all the way

For the little breeze that blows onto my face what a calming effect it is and slowly thinking on thoughts and building plans and making stories

And listening to the soft song from the Frank Sinatra playlist nodding my head swinging,sliding, gliding my hands conductively

Now it’s time to work focus I tell myself to focus and slowly undoubtedly ready to face today’s business

Before the sun starts to go down I work slowly checking the time trying to avoid the traffic skipping the long bus taking the fast bike to home

Where my heart is and I’ve always have been a place of solitary confinement and mindful experience

A quick lunch of my native swallow rich in carbohydrates and protein to prepare me for the evening before the sun goes down completely

A friend calls another visit and we spoke into the night and drank slowly as we fed each other gists

Bye she says to mark the end to the day unto my bed I crawled to get ready for the next day

Another day to write to oblivion and to face the days and my other business.

The scorching sun has disappeared into the dark musky clouds

Here I sit on the moor talking to myself again, aloud

I wish you’d known many things before we met

I wish you thought of yourself as important

Then maybe you wouldn’t have left me without

I wish you would listen as I listen to you

Can you just be still, and listen?

To realize that no means NO and not try again

I wish you could see me as an equal

And stare at me to say, my partner

I wish you could be you instead of a hypocrite

I wish you knew that tiny gestures just put me on cloud 9

I wish you realize that big surprises are just the tip of the iceberg

I wish you could feel free and kiss me senseless

I wish you could forget tomorrow and laugh with no worry

For what it’s worth,

Some call me insane but I was never seen

Ever since the time, I became the punch in need of a bag

With your mighty fists that always knocked me down cold

What a transformation it gave me

An obsession with my with foundations and concealers

A shapeless glutton with a face I didn’t remember anymore

Taking that pain and shaving my hair

locked up into rehabilitation

Christened for redemption

So that I could find myself again

Just imagine,

If you had caressed my face instead of crushing it

If you had wrapped your hands around me to give me warmth

What joy that would have been

I would have been so incensed with your love and attention

Giving my heart and devotion you

Served on a platter

For what it’s worth,

I learned a lot from you

I hope you did too.

Often based on worries

Unrelenting mind thinkers

Refusing sleep and laughter

Even liquor can’t cure

Miserably increasing

It’s normal to be in that mood

Yet affecting others is cruel

I don’t feel like talking

I don’t want to be disturbed

Silent mode activated

No calls allowed

No replies given

I am begging:

Let me be lonely

but not invisible

What do you want anyway

But depression visits

It leads with traces

If not addressed

Then it comes in swings

You know like a rollercoaster

Moving back and forth

Producing silent sounds

And empty promises

I repeat

Don’t get depressed.

Tunde left me for good

Good riddance to bad rubbish

I thought he meant well

I guess he never did

And so to the dark corners of my room I crept

Crying my eyes out in pain

And heartbreaking sorrow

I took liberty on a thought

Though unnecessary and unthinkable

For a sign, I wanted for closure

And so, cropped up my hair in fragment and batches

Till it became skins bare

Afterward, my  head began to act like a detector

What it detects I don’t know

Just a little quarter at the back of the left side

The hair there stands on end

As if waiting to be counted

Goosebumps crops out of my skin

As if I have a crocodile cold skin

What is happening to me?

Why am I feeling this way?

However,

Gone were the heartache and heartbreak

It was like they were never there

But I got something else to think about now

It’s the antenna flickering at the back of my bearskin head.