The Poetry Marathon

I hope you understand

That I am allowed to do what is best for me sometimes
It is not all about what I can give
What is expected
What good manners dictate
Or what I have done in the past
The older I get
Just occasionally
I need to put me first
So I have the strength to carry on

Lost Escape

Deep in the ocean
Under the seabed
Is a path to adventure
Only the brave will tread
Through an invisible portal
In a rock that’s not there
Is a world like no other
Let me take you there …

The land is purple
The sun darkened blue
Creatures with wings fly
And those without them do to
The air feels like honey
The sea foams like wine
Trees grow sweet treats
That taste so divine

Morning is night
Daytime is cold
When stars want to play
It’s a wonder to behold
Bats smell like liquorish
Puppies meow
Kitten have horns and forked tails
Their feet planted in hell

Some vaguely remember
An escape now long for
But when you’re all grown-up
You won’t find the door

Healthy Eating … Scottish Style

Deep fried pizza
Frozen
Oven ready
Quarter or half portions
Plunged into hot fish oil until crispy
Pizza supper …
Just add salty chips
Brown sauce and vinegar
A Crunch supper …
Add batter
A unique flavour
A dubious nutritional profile all its own
A heart attacks pre-served and ready to go

NOTE: Contains swearing.

Getting Old

Running days now over
They have been for a bit
I can’t even remember the last time
I subjected my body to all that sh*t
To be utterly honest
I was never that big a fan
If I saw the bus coming down the street
I’d wait for the next one was always a failsafe plan
The children used to keep me fit
Running about after them
But once that spread their wings and flew
I knew I’d never do it ever again
I’m more a couch potato these days
My lifestyle choice is cunning
I use my age and my advancing years
As the perfect excuse … to never again go running

Morning Shower

Opens the door
Eyes still closed dreading the day
I’m getting too old for this
Take the cat out the sink
Brush teeth
Take the cat out of the sink again
Wipe up the splatters of water from wayward paws
Undress
Take the cat out of the shower
Turn it on to heat up
Take cat out of the shower banish it behind a closed door
No deterrent
Door too easy to unlatch
Take cat out of the shower
Close glass door quickly to prevent an invasion
Concede defeat
Take a shower with the cat
Rinse shampoo out of my hair
And cat’s fur
Despite my best efforts … cat always beats me through the door
Makes a b-line for the bed and disappears under the duvet
Retrieves cat
Turns back covers to dry out during the day
Take cat off work clothes
Finds some more
Dry one
Brush my hair
Hunt the floor for bands and clips
Grab cat before it launches itself out the window
Makes a mental note to invest in a new locks
To trap cat
Out of my way
So I can get ready in peace
Promptly forget
Thus continuing to jump on same merry-go-round
Every flippin morning

A Losing Battle

Undulating planes of green
Lush with summer rain
Eroded by wind and weather
So they never look the same
Kissed by sea tossed pebbles
Carving diverse new courses
A land locked in an age old struggle
Beaten into submission by crazy white horses

The Witch at No 45

It’s best to stay home when the sun goes down
To not venture out and roam around
Not to risk the breathy embrace
As old Nelly Dean haunts still haunts her place
The house many think of a sweet home-from-home
But back in the day before you were born
Nelly practiced the art of witchcraft and necromancy
And cursed all those that took her fancy
Potions and vials still stock the shelves
Of the basement where if stones could tell
They would recall the horrors committed down there
To any too stupid a take the dare
On All Hallows Eve to play Trick or Treat
Eager for nice things collect or to eat
But once inside they would not survive
Because no one has ever made it out alive

How to make a Kaleidoscope

Stick pretty paper round a tube
Cut out three circles in something clear to use
Hot glue one to the bottom space
Put the coloured beads in place
Hold them down with another disc but not too tight
Allowing them room to play and fight
Make a triangle of foil covered strips
Place inside so it’s a snuggly fit
Pop the last piece of plastic on the top
Once the glue is dry the fun will never stop.

Disguised

Colour me blue
To match the sky
Shade me gold
With paint that’s old
Stencil the words
Faded to look like birds
To hide me from real life

[Inspired by the image]

The Wedding

Alice in Wonderland dress and lace aprons for the girls
Kilts for the boys, white shirts not withstanding
Not allowed to run or play
All to be kept pristine
Bored
The bride is early
The groom is late
Best behaviour demanded
After the speeches a call to the dancefloor
Huddled in a secret chat
Retreat
Bride holds aloft the top tier of the cake
Scramble!!
A free-for-all grabbing handfuls and stuffing it in our mouths
Parents and guest look on in shock
The bride laughs
Her dress splattered with chocolate and crumbs
The photos are still amazing