DogSpeak #19 Mommy & Me

DogSpeak #19 Mommy & Me

I wink at Mommy
and she winks back.
She thinks there’s a code.

I tilt my head left, she tilts
hers left. I think she thinks
I see something she doesn’t.

I stare at the ceiling
without blinking. She stares
– haha, I made her look.

I give her a schedule every day.
Let me out, let me in, feed me,
let me eme in, repeat.

I slobber windows, doors
and mirrors all over the house;
she likes my snot art.

I give her security, friendship
and unconditional permission…
some days, she only talks to me.

I stare at her while she eats;
she feels guilty and gives me some,
even though I just ate.

Mommy & Me.
It was easy;
I had her at woof.

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #18 Reasons You Need Dogs (at least 2)

DogSpeak #18 Reasons You Need Dogs (at least 2)

We replace vacuums
for food that falls to the floor.

We believe every word you say
and that is saying volumes.

We love you even if you skip
the hairdresser all year.

We laugh at all your jokes
even the dumb ones.

We make you laugh at our antics
even the dumb ones.

We wake you before the alarm
so you never oversleep.

We give you a reason to exercise
even if you don’t want to.

We are the best cuddlers
and snugglers ever.

We make you smile
and that helps you live longer.

We knew you needed
to be rescued; that’s what we do.

We’ll help you be goofy, silly,
and giggle as much as you can.

We are a factory for kisses
24/7 production; we never run out.

We have magic compartments
in our hearts to hold all your secrets.

We’ll protect you from danger and stress,
but maybe not the bunnies in the yard.

We let you be you. Who else
does that for you?

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #17 Picking Up Poop

DogSpeak #17 Picking Up Poop

You say you spend
half you life
picking up poop
and I ask why
you want it.

You sing
Picking up poop
bag on hand
back cracks
when I stoop
picking up poop
scoot while
I collect your poo.

I ask again
why you want it,
I didn’t want it
so why do you?

You sing
Picking up poops
following behind
my pooch poops
doesn’t even say oops
here I am
spending my life
picking up poops
but I love you
so I collect your poo.

Ok, so you like to sing
so I give you something
to sing about.

Picking up poopers
scooping bloopers
left on the sidewalk
where we all walk
I need a bag of bags
but I love you, Trooper
so I spend my time
filling a trash pail
picking up your poo.

It’s not like it’s worth
anything, right?
I left it behind
so you’d have
something to do,
Daddy-do-do
picking up my poo.

No pooper scooper
big enough to say
how much I love you
but believe me
when I say I don’t love
picking up your poop.

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #16 Yawn

DogSpeak #16 Yawn

We’re watching tv
on the couch, a bad movie
but I’m not allowed to touch
the remote. You stick with it
but I’ve seen enough.

I look over at you to telegraph
the idea of changing channels.
You yawn, I yawn.

I know that dogs will yawn
if they see a human yawn
but I wonder if you’ll yawn
if I yawn and so I yawn.
You yawn.

You look surprised.
I wonder if you’re thinking
what I’m thinking
and you yawn.
I yawn.

You spin on the couch,
sit to face me and I sit up
facing you.
I yawn, you yawn.
You yawn, I yawn.
I fake a yawn,
you yawn.
You fake, I yawn.
TV and remote forgotten,
we both yawn.
Yes, this is much better
than that bad movie.
You and me, we fall asleep
yawning.

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #15 Why

DogSpeak #15 Why

Why can’t we leave
the fridge door open?
All the good stuff is
in there but we can’t get it,
for you of course,
with the door closed.

Why isn’t there a bed
bigger than king?
It’s too small for all of us
and you refuse to sleep
on the couch. We want you
to be comfortable.

Why can’t we eat
with you at the table?
We’re polite, won’t burp
or steal food off your plate
and there’ll be no leftovers.

Why can’t we have our own couch?
You could make the living room
bigger; after all, it’s where we live
so it should fit our fur-niture, too.

Why do we chase cars and bikes?
We can’t drive them so it seems
like a dumb idea. Oh yeah,
you did tell us not to.

Why don’t you like
answering our questions?
We’re inquisitive, curious,
our inquiring canine minds
want to know everything.

Why do squirrels
hate us? What did we do
to annoy them… other than chase
them up trees, across fences,
and watch as they skitter across
power lines. Zapp!
Never mind.

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #14 Raceway

DogSpeak #14 Raceway

Welcome folks to the Indy 500!
No cars, no tracks, just two dogs
and a stairway.

Get set for some excitement
as we ready at the start of lap 1.
Motors revving, we’re inching over
the line, go! Uh oh, here comes Mommy
with a big basket full of clean laundry.
She’s two steps up and we can’t stop!

She saw us, sidestepped, and we tied
at the landing. Lap 2 is down, another tie.
We’re huffing hard but ready for lap 3 –
we’re intent – it’s race day! Oh no,
here comes Mommy again, this time
on her cell phone. She knows us,
knows our games, but she’s distracted.
Whoa, Mommy held on, down went
the empty basket, landed on my brother
and he’s in a cage, haha! Mommy’s
yelling, he’s running with the basket
on his back and I’m on the couch
laughing.

Dad’s in the basement, hears the ruckus
and is stomping up the steps. My brother
shucks the basket, we’re at the top of
the stairs in a flash, falling fast. Dad
sees us, puts his hands up to warn us
but it’s too late, we’re tumbling down,
arms, legs, paws, and tails spinning;
we land on a pile of dog blankets, soft
and cushy, a face full of kisses for Dad
for catching us. But we got caught
for the last time.

Sorry folks but the raceway is closed
for the season, forever really. We’re
grounded – that means we have to stay
on one floor, no tandem stair races,
no laps up and down, but lots of sloppy
kisses for Mommy and Daddy.

We can’t be stopped, we need to race.
Now to set up some dirt tracks across
the backyard, around the veggie garden,
through the garage, and to the pool, yeah!
Stayed tuned for the next race day!

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #13 Bubble Time

DogSpeak #13 Bubble Time

I love bubbles.
Mommy bought me
these things she calls toys
but I can’t have them.

They make noise and when
I hear the motor start, I run
from wherever I am. It’s
bubble time!

I’m spoiled; I have a blue
thing, a yellow thing, and
the green thing is real loud.
I love them all.

Once, we played in the kitchen
but Daddy said it was too messy
so now we only play outside.
Bubble time!

Daddy says he’s buying stock
in a battery company. Mommy
pours in some stuff; I stand
beside the thing and wait.

The blue thing turns in a circle,
the yellow one like a carousel,
the green one spins sideways;
I like that one best.

After what feels like a dog year,
bubbles pop out and fly – windy
days they fly in my face and I get
a little scared but just for a second.

Then, I chase the bubbles to see
how many I can eat. I don’t know
what they taste like but I like them.
We play, bubbles and me!

When Mommy turns off the thing,
I chuff. She says I’m a soapy mess
and need a bath. I hate that word
and I run to hide in the garden.

Daddy laughs, baths are bubble time
but it’s not I tell him from my muddy
place in the garden. It’s not, I whine,
it’s not the same, but I get a bath anyway.

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #12 Naming

DogSpeak #12 Naming

Adam wasn’t around
when I got here and besides,
he probably ran out of names
long ago.

So I came here, rescued
from an unspeakable place
sans name; they called me
cutie and smoochie puppy
but mostly they called me no
and loud and often.

I thought my name was no
but when they started calling me
bad puppy, out-out-out, and not
on the carpet!, I was just glad
to have a happy home.

When they started calling me
Doodle, I ignored them; I already
had several names and wasn’t
looking for another; it was hard
to keep track.

In time, no stopped, out-out-out
disappeared in the backyard
somewhere, and they pulled up
all the carpet.

Now that I am a little older,
I just have one name. Doodle,
not on the new tile!

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #11 Welcome Home But…

DogSpeak #11 Welcome Home But…

I don’t want to alarm you
but did you leave the door open last night
or this morning before you left for work?
When I got up around 10 this morning,
I found an intruder in the house.

I’m not blaming you and I would protect
your life at all costs but I don’t like knowing
there’s a stranger roaming around our house.

I saw him this morning in the bedroom
but he didn’t follow me downstairs;
he’s not in the kitchen or dining room,
not lounging on the couch with me
when I woke up around 3.

Ok, I’m not a coward but I didn’t go back
into the bedroom to see if he was still there.
I listened in the hall but all was quiet. He’s
big and maybe just a little mean looking
so now that you’re home, let’s go see. Come on,
follow me, I’ll protect you. Ok, push the door
open, stay close at my heels in case
I need to pounce on him.

See? There he is, he’s huge, and well
maybe a little cute too, ok handsome. Oh,
look, he likes you, his tail is wagging, hey,
just like mine. He’s… he looks…
what?
What’s a mirror?

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #10 Sage Advice

DogSpeak #10 Sage Advice

Everyone loves us –
wiggle butts, lolling tongues
lapping water in all directions,
silky fur begging to be petted,
gleeful joy at meeting
a stranger because we know
how to make friends.

Everyone loves a cute puppy
with cutsie poopsies
and flippy floppy ears;
even though they don’t
understand sit/stay/come,
they know the secret
to sociable/acceptable behavior.

Humans cannot master it,
too proud to wag their tail
and not their tongue, spouting
opinions as if they weren’t like
diapers – full of crap and in need
of frequent changing.

Keep in mind cats could care less
about what you think about celebs,
current events, political manure,
even what kind of litter works best;
just attend to them like royalty.

Dogs mind everything
and everyone’s business; we want
the world to love us and if you
decide not to, we will hound you
(no pun intended) until you decide
we are to be friended.

Learn from us, we are zen.
When tempted to shout out
sharing a piece of your mind
about anything that may make
someone uncomfortable/unhappy/
ungentle, keep your muzzle shut.

~ J R Turek