There is so much that I’d like to say
To paint a picture just for you
But the colors turn muddy
My voice comes unsteady
What can I do when
Words are useless,
Colors dull,
But sit
Mute?
Stacey GRAVES
Nevermore74
Stacey has always been a wisher, a dreamer, a poet... although she has had but short bursts of precious time to write in the last few years. She teaches at a Waldorf inspired Charter school in Central Wisconsin. When teaching through the core principles of Waldorf students are immersed in all aspects of art. Teachers also loop with their students which means she had has the same group of kiddos since they were first graders and they will all now be 8th graders this fall, almost time to let them go! But they have had an amazing journey! When not guiding children's hearts and minds, Stacey is the mother of five grown daughters and Meme to 10 wretched grandchildren that she adores! She has been with her partner, David, for ten years. They were middle school sweethearts that found the broken road back to each other after 20 some years!
Hour 11: Today
I thought I saw you in a storefront today
Just a glance from my periphery
Side-eyed as I walked by
My heart stopped and I froze
A familiar pang leapt to my chest
Needle-sharp, straight to my heart
Memories of that day in the sun
My periwinkle dress discarded on the ground
Entwined together in the grass as we watched the clouds
“You can’t see the sky in the city,” you said.
The busy city, littered with skyscrapers and idle gossip
We were the only two souls in the world that day
I turned and looked again into the storefront window
And you were not there
I smiled sadly and walked away
Hour 10: Reflections and Truth
Reflections always frighten me
Silly, I know
They say the mirror never lies
So maybe it’s the truth I fear
Truth- a powerful word
A subjective word
Everyone has their own version
He said- she said
It all becomes a matter of believability
Wouldn’t it be so much easier to just hold up a mirror?
Like Dorian’s portrait, every hideous detail could be put on display
No questions, no doubt, no misinterpretation
No twisted words and innuendos
All intentions clear, all truths revealed
Maybe that’s what frightens me
My truth lain bare for all to see
Every sharp, ugly, grotesque imperfection marked on this body and soul
Maybe I’m not scared of reflections after all….
Hour 9: Common Saying
It’s always darkest before the dawn
When the stars have all burned out
The moon has sunk low and sun has stubbornly refused to rise
The world is blanketed in the blackest of blacks
And everything is still
Voices are silenced
Breath is held
The world waits
Waits to see if the promise of dawn will be fulfilled
And for one excruciating moment
It seems that it never will
Then a faint glow appears on the horizon
And the shadows slowly recede
The dawn breaks
The world breathes
And life goes on
Hour 8: Inspired by The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
Paul Newman and a ride home
Orphaned boy looking at sunsets
Sharks circle, surround, hold him down
Choking, gasping, water runs red
One boy left with the blood, another left dead
Runaways- Outlaws- Gone with the Wind
Blonde disguise- Bologna sandwiches and cigarettes to pass the time
Church and innocence consumed by flame
Smoke filled lungs strangled
Burnt fleshed heroes
A light extinguished from gentle eyes- too soon
Denial, acceptance, a letter slips free
“Stay gold, Ponyboy. Do it for me….”
Hour 7: Normal
Define normal:
Cookie-cutter
Carbon copy
Boxed in
Polite, smile, nod
Cross your legs
Stand up Straight
Sit down
Shut up
Know your place
Do as you’re told
Don’t talk back
Do not question
Do not think
Accept, Resign, Submit
I do not fit that mold
I ooze across the baking sheet
Spill out of that box
I argue, cry, shake my head
I slouch and lean
I am not silent
I rebel, (did I mention I argue?)
I think lovely and radical thoughts
I question everything
Including your idea of “normalcy”
So please accept my apology if I do not resign myself to your definition
I submit to no one
Hour 6: May I Have This Dance?
Stately Waltz
Lively Polka
Respectable Fox Trot
Tantalizing Tango
Samba, Swing
Jitterbug, Charleston
Graceful Ballet
Do a little two step
Moon walk across the floor
Breakdance, Flashdance
Twist the night away
Boot Scoot
Soft Shoe
Tap-tap-tap
Trip the light Fandango
Cha-cha, Slide, Shuffle
Bump and Grind
Let the music move you
Put your hand in mine
May I have this dance?
Hour 5: Chest
Roosevelt dimes
Wheat pennies
One gold piece from the Four Queens
Chanel #5 scented letters never sent
A 22-short bullet from an unknown pistol
Faded photographs of fake smiles
Postcards across land and time
Bright costume jewelry
Hairpins
Lipstick and rogue
Love, loss, hope, regret
Packed away in Grandma’s chest
Hour 4: Invisibility
How much strength does it take to become invisible?
To blend into tacky wallpaper and stale conversation?
To be consumed by the deafening silence that seeps into every molecule, every atom, the very nucleus of your existence?
How much energy does it take to scream into a crowded room where no one looks up or bats an eye?
I saw Chicago and Mr. Cellophane became my anthem
I wrapped myself in Reynold’s wrap until I suffocated my own voice
How much force do you need to generate to have someone walk right through you?
You see, to me ghosts are merely memories, stuck on replay
Over and over and over
Trying to get it right
To walk through me makes me a ghost
Am I a memory? Am I stuck on repeat?
How hard do you need to push a needle to unskip a record?
I don’t like the soundtrack of my life
Fast forward-fast forward-fast forward
Until it is all a blur
Until I am invisible
Until I am closed into your mind like a whisper, a dream that my have been a memory but now you’ve forgotten
Whether I am dream or reality
Don’t worry, I have the same problem all the time
Hour 3: Blackbird (Inspired by The Beatles song)
Blackbird, dark, ancient muse
Singing the song my soul has forgotten
In the still twilight
The graves of the things I’ve buried away
Dead things I’ve hidden away
Of these you sing, my faithful friend
Night-mares turned to lullabies
Take these melodies of misery
These hymns of hurt
Broken pieces in 3/4 time
Wings clipped to haunting arias
And mend them all
Learn to sing a new song
To make me whole so I may
Fly away with you