The epigraph I wrote for myself as an assignment in the 10th grade

 

A sadness means you live inside your past,

And worry means you fear what well may be,

And though the present seems to fade so fast,

It’s only there that you may live in peace.

 

The Moment, a glosa

 

For far too long I was denied chances

To explore the truth that dances

Beneath the veneer of ‘normal’

I would like to lodge a formal

Complaint against my parents

Refusing to be errant

For raising me in a place

I was always treated like a disgrace

I sit here, crying, angry, knowing that

A sadness means you live inside your past

 

How they perceive me now

Inconsistent with how

My inner lost boy longs to be seen

Shine my masculinity

Shadowed over with doubt

Distracted by the chest that sprouted

Against my will, against my wishes

Voice high, hips wide, other superfices

I sit here, chewing my cheek, knowing that anxiety

And worry means you fear what well may be

 

Today I drink decaf coffee with my shoes off

Almost hoping I make a small minded man scoff

Reveling in the ambiguity I have the guts

To showcase, with hoodies and haircuts

Enough to hide telltale form

That people associate with a gender I don’t perform

My laugh rings out with a person who finally reflects

My truth back, no falsities that I project

I sit here, determined to hold onto the joy I’ve amassed

And though the present seems to fade so fast

 

I know each moment will be followed

Whether by a high or a low

I’m excited to find out

Because now that I am out

The world isn’t just brighter, its real

I have every opportunity to heal

When I experience the realities

Of living with only myself to please

I sit here, knowing that the moment I’ve seized,

It’s only there that you may live in peace