I have been holding onto the hope
That I’ll find answers in the moon
Or that I’ll be revealed as a fairy
Released from the expectations of a society that make me want to die
There is too much going on to be bored
But there is also too much going on for me to sleep
–
Sometimes while I am sleeping,
Their eyes blue bore into me again and I wake up with hope
In my heart, i wish that I was bored
I’d prefer that to wailing at the moon
About all the versions of me that have died
When someone stopped believing in fairies
–
I had a dream I met a fairy
And he begged me to help him get to sleep
He told me he could make it so I didn’t have to die
He expected me to take that, but I don’t have that hope
I can’t wait to rejoin the moon
I bet with all the night sky to keep her company, she’s never bored
–
I wonder if the sun gets bored
Maybe that’s why it invented fairies
The stars are always out to party with the moon
While the rest of the world sleeps
Neither of them should be lonely, that’s my only hope
I know how much isolation can make you want to die
–
I don’t have a desire to be young when I die
But when I am low, there are moments where i am so bored
Of being alive. The highs of this roller coaster give me hope
When I can go out to a party and drink beer with a fairy
But on the days I can’t sleep
I try to make stories out of the clouds over the moon
–
I think of certain people when I look at the moon
I don’t know if I can still call them friends, or if that label has died
There used to be nights we’d stay up ’til dawn talking, choosing that over sleep
Being loved by them felt so easy, it was impossible to be bored
My peter pan and my stubborn fairy
Now unanswered text messages, unmet hopes
–
I have been holding on to the hope that I won’t have to keep wailing at the moon
I dream I make friends of a fairy and the loneliness doesn’t make me want to die
But even in moments where I am so bored, I’d still choose living over endless sleep