The Poetry Marathon

She was nothing remarkable
at least, that’s what I kept telling myself
truth is: she was everything I wanted
everything I needed
everything I deserve

Amazingly, I had her
she was in my grasp
I held tight
perhaps too tight

I should have let her breathe
to flourish under her own guidance
she was remarkable
she is remarkable
to me.

I struggle with [redacted]
I have so much of it to give
But it’s often wasted
On those who don’t want it
Am I [redacted] good enough?
For your attention
For your time
For your [redacted]
It’s foolish of me
To think anything could change
My brain needs [redacted]
My [redacted] needs replacing.

I’m stuck between
looking fat
and
feeling thin

These horizontal stripes are in favour
but my floor is too contrasting
I’m in a haze

I’m caught in a crossroads
like a zebra in headlights
just trying to get to
the other side

It’s not always
black
and
white.

It’s time to get these skeletons out of the closet
bone-by-bone
thrown on the floor
like a child having a tantrum

They have been kept inside for too long
it’s time to air the dirty laundry
don’t stand in my path
or you could suffer my wrath

Closets are dark
with good reason
it’s a place to hide
and a place for things to be hidden

Mine has a musty odour
I think it’s time to close the door.

It’s my barrier between worlds
between introvert and extrovert
between safety and anxiety

I’m open to the idea
of using it
but for the most part
it’s closed

Only a few inches thick
blocking out all noise
keeping my thoughts inside
for no one else to hear

It’s the last thing
I close before embarking
on my daily journey
but it’s the first thing
greeting me
upon my return

I welcome it
with a turn of a key
and a slight push
it’s rather symbolic.

What is love?

This is the third time
trying to execute this poem
and that’s what love does
to someone like me

It’s impossible to explain
it could be a call home
it could be a feeling
it could be feeding your cat

The beauty of love
is that we don’t know what it is

We never know when to expect it
or in what direction it will come from
It keeps us on our toes

It’s also gutwrenching
turning your stomach into a knot
that’s tied too tightly
unable to be released

It also gives you life
in the search for that feeling
again

I long for it

He slips on his favourite jacket
bending his elbow
at an awkward angle
to complete the look

Dancing in the street
a bucket-list item ticked off
he doesn’t care who sees
he never misses a beet

The root of his being
he was born to dance
to perform
the world his audience

The ground shakes
a bone-rattling tremor
he digs his feet into the ground
stands on his tip-toes
doing the thriller.

The silhoutted strings play over my heart
casting a hopeful shadow
that better things are to come
a brighter horizon

Like a climactic scene of a film
it’s building to something
something purposeful
something worth holding on to

It could be a soft kiss
a warm hug
a gentle smile
sometimes that’s all it takes

to get through

As the cellos echo out
in my orchestra of life
I appreciate the little things
I appreciate you

It’s not validation I seek
it’s belonging
in your world
and in mine

in ours

I let the subtle notes sink in
lifting my body above the ground
I’m soaring so high
it’s beautiful.

My heart weakens every time I see her
its walls fall down
the very foundations crumble
and I am helpless against it

One by one
the layers are stripped down
until the beat is exposed
it’s slow
without rhythm
lacking the oxygen to breathe

The chambers of my heart are empty
they’re unoccupied with blood
the silent echo is deafening
it’s in desperate need of mending.

I get down on one knee
asking you for your life
it’s not something I’ll take
I just want to be a part of it
there is a hole in my heart
that needs filling
come on this journey with me
it will be thrilling
and if death parts us
I hope I’m first to go
I couldn’t bear the loss
so take my hand
come away with me
like Norah Jones
playing our first song.