farewell to arms

What you gave me was
was the ability to rise in the morning.
Enveloped me
Consoled me
Never asked for too much.
I became a baby at baptism
Pure and carried up to blisses of
heaven, just for a moment.
Take me back and
let’s do it over and over.
I’ll always have you, won’t I?
And the rain won’t make any difference?

I didn’t know myself in search of it
I lost myself when I had it
now I know there’s no way I could live without it.

a place

I am awoken by songbirds
and for a brief moment I’m somewhere I haven’t been to yet

a place where I have kinder eyes
where strangers know I’m smiling even if that’s the only thing they see

a place where I’m slower
where the roses of spring don’t hesitate to shower me in their scent

a place where I’m warmer
where I take off the sweaters of yesterday and put on something finally sustainable

I open up my curtains, pull up the blinds
and let the morning sun peek through

until then, I can pretend for the day

tabby

cupping his soft face
while he stares at me
with eyes kind as green
ears and nose blushed
he need not speak words
–he knows me.

as i leave, he mourns
as i arrive, he sprints
as i rise, he jumps
as i lay, he plops
and becomes the most beloved
Scarf i’ve ever worn.

my tiny friend
who grows heavier each day
louder by the hour
softer each night
i want to give you
the world you think of

when you gaze towards the ceiling and purr
while i kiss your little forehead.

to rest

lethargic by noon
i spend the rest of the hours
trying to mask
the remains of my yesterday

eyes and words slow as porridge
body and mind heated like a winter’s cottage
light flurries strangely, fireflies
floating amidst my vision

i lay in bed and stare at the bare ceiling
i think, i try
i try…

miami

born in a pool of indecision
raised by a fool of precision
taught one thing, and one thing only
to survive, means to be lonely

as he rides the waves with his passengers
below him lies his endless massacres
doomed from the beginning was always his fate
if he tries to break cycles, there will no clean slate

until the day arrives where all evil is gone
he’ll be released from past chains and finally see the dawn
and in him, awakened with a new life’s drum
or will evil be the thing he’s finally become?

missing

There’s a mirror in every child’s bedroom
every now and then, when you turn on the light
a small flash pierces through the emergence
– blink and miss it –
some catch a glimpse of it, some never do,
most don’t know what it is
excuses made to ignore what we already know
– an old trick of the eye, headache –
when your parents tuck you in and turn off your light
the split second is all it takes for the unfortunate ones
as a flash rises from the mirror and looms above you
– where are you? –

day and night

fluttering my lids to see yours do the same
shadows peer in through the blinds from the leaves
silhouettes of little creatures dance across the sheets
and i reach over to caress your face.

rising out of bed, you momentarily leave me
and i bask in the warmth that you left behind
when you come back with hot plates, cool water
you and i sit on the bed in comfortable, chewing silence.

afternoon slips us by, so we
ride the bus, go out, eat, hold hands
eat, walk, study, work, hug, watch
and our nights are filled with even more simple pleasures.

it’s cold. let’s lie down
goodnight, sweet dreams, sweet kisses,
i love you, i’m safe in your arms

October

As the night settles into the cooling of autumn
the lake mirrors the illimitable sky
and on the dock, between the mirrored indigo of all direction
we drift in the ether.

There is no sound but the drum of our hearts
caught breaths of words far too afraid to whisper
and the buzzing of phones that we fiddle with
while I wait, you wait, the moon follows our hesitance.

Leaning in as the night continues to dim,
the blanket of your sweet voice offers the dreamy relief
and what I already know–and accept
was infused in the tears that fell onto your lap.

There is no need for somber sighs
to seek answers, to find tangibles
when we can just continue floating blissfully
in the blue, hand in hand till dawn.

(💚 you)

at the station

We arrived, watched as you bought a ticket.
You came back to say goodbye, the wind
urgently pushed you as the minute passed.

I let go of your warm touch
bade my last farewell
while weakly waving my hand into a now cool air.

The sun lingered a little longer at dusk
as we stood at the gate covered in the patchy shadows
that spring blurrily plastered onto the cement

“Please, just a little while longer.”

russian doll woman

born free, man builds his own traps
forges armor, steel, war: made to save us
from the evils they manifest into
but our aches are innate, built-in
trying to escape cages
that we inherited

and so on to the next place for us…

the illusion of escape
venturing, still enclosed by calls
lured in with the promises
beauty, power, love?
our eyes bat and yawn at these neon signs
and at the door, there’s an entry fee.
why do we have to pay a penance
for what they claim to offer?

and so on to the next place for us…

oh our kaleidoscope eyes
reflecting bright colors of world
into romanticized ornamentations
that we already know
are just a couple of old, used
crystals–scraps from their fortresses

and so on to the next place for us…

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