The Poetry Marathon

 “Restrained freedom.”

Am I free?

Or do I just pretend to be?

Am I truly happy?

Or do I act like I already am?

I’ve reached a point where I’m freezing; since young, just’ve been told this one phrase, ‘Life is a race, run or get trampled.’

They make it seem once we gain power and wealth, we’ve made it. “Go to the top,” the whole world seem to say, “It’s too crowded at the bottom.”

Struggle,

Struggle,

Do what you have to.

Be obssessed – you must succeed.

‘It will all be easy at the top, you can then relax…’ Can I though? That peak, I’ve reached it but nobody told me it was lonely at the top. All the energized frenzy is gone and replaced with … nothing.

Empty.

Empty.

I feel empty.

Suddenly I open my eyes and glance at the clock; it’s just 6 o’clock. After petting my rather startled puppy, we snuggle back down again.

“I had another dream again buddy,” I whispered into its ears and it gave a little sniff. “I dreamt of someone with empty eyes and restrained freedom once more.”

I grin when my dog tried to comfort me with a small lick. “At least, I didn’t live like that. I’m glad but feel bad for those that do.”

I still wonder to myself, whose story I saw.

Perhaps, was it yours?

Pondering on how thoughts are thunk,
mayhap they're up before the dawn,
giggling themselves silly as they rummage through a junk chest in the attic of our mind;
To an old drawing of the past they are drawn.

Those little punks-
sliding down the spiral staircase of contemplation,
shaking and striking on gongs of self-doubt which rattles,
whooping as they jiggle and prance around bad decisions.

Arms full they carry huge chunks of heartbreaks...
little reminders of that unfortunate morning with John,
reenactment of how you yourself pulled the trigger to that gun,
sympathy? Those thoughts seem to have none.

Just when you seem to decide to get rid of them,
grab them by the neck to force them back to their bunk,
whoosh, they're slipping out of your grip and slinking back into the coziness of the mind. 

Never pay them too much attention nor chase them about;
You can hear their subtle chuckles, 
for them — it's fun.

Typing not texting. 😶