Doubts Borne of the Men I’ve Loved Before

You know you’re beautiful, like no one else,
I’ve seen the way you hold yourself:
That shameless poise as you just pass through
Holding my heart like I belonged to you

What is it you do not see
To make you find it easy to discard me?
What is it you love so much more
That you’d walk out and shut the door?

You know you’re so talented, so self-made,
I’ve seen the wealth and the accolades:
Dropped a trifle in my palm,
Wrote me off without a qualm

What is it makes you not care
Despite all we promised to share?
What is it you want so much less
That you’d shatter my heart and leave it a mess?

You know you’re so very skilled at love,
I remember the things we’d both dream of:
That passionate demand in my ear
Making me wish I could hold you near

What is it makes you disappear,
Pretend we were not and just wander clear?
What is it you get with her
To pretend that you and I never were?

You know your life is so very nice,
Family so lovely as to entice,
Home so calm my own dreams I might sell
If I didn’t know your wishes so well

What is it makes you shield your heart
When we’ve finally managed a belated start?
What is it makes you act this way
Where I’m so damned sure you’ll go away?

You know you’re just so very smart
I gave you my whole life to take apart,
I’d have been with you a million years
But you left me spilling a heart full of tears

What is it you loathed so much
That you tore me apart, gave so rare a touch?
What is it makes you blind to see
That it was your problem more than it was me?

Whispers

Tuck your nose behind my ear
Speak so softly I cannot hear
Lips pressed gently to my skin
Murmur nothing again, again

Slip your fingers up my throat
Utter hushed words so remote
Speak into my eager mind
Words my heart may only find

Whisper luscious words so sweet
About how much you’ve wished to meet
Soft skin brushed across my lips
Plaintive words with fingertips

Speak as though your eyes were blind
Your wish for love, deep to my mind
Trailing touches ‘cross my heart
Murmured words in silent art

Love In Rainbows

Love me in rainbows,
Not just red, blue or green,
Love me with whispers of the Agean Sea

Love me in rainbows,
Not with some smattering,
Love me with fervor of mosquitos’ biting

Love me in rainbows
More than red, blue and white,
Love me and hold me with all of your might

Love me in rainbows,
Love with all of your sight,
Love me with such heat we lift up in flight

Love me in rainbows
Whose ends pile with gold
Love me with such love our love can’t be sold

Love me in rainbows
With colors so bold
Your love and my love can never grow old

Love me in rainbows
‘Til we reach the sun
Love me and love me ’til we become one

Love me in rainbows,
Silken touches you’ve spun
And I’ll love you forever, ’cause I won’t be outdone

Bending Time

What’s left when a kiss is o’er and through,
When limbs once-woven are unfurled?
I can still see the kinks left from me-and-you,
Can still feel the gravity of our world –

And yet, you dare take a simple love,
Compare it to an ill-fated time,
Withdraw from this curious treasure-trove,
Would treat you-and-me like a mere past-time?

Words fail.
Emotions fail.
Love fails.
Time fails.

There is the World,
And then, there is the world:

Control versus freedom
Love… and some unreasoned rhyme.

The sense that makes sense does not make sense to you,
Though I follow your rationale, the logic’s askew —

And I’ll suffer while you do what you do,
And I’ll love even while your love you will eschew,
And I’ll love, remain in love when you bid ‘adieu’…
And I’ll help you to find yourself a wife, anew….

While I hold the days close
When you held me so close

When words won
And hearts won
And love won
And time won

And I won time with one
Whom I always loved.

The Way of Intimacy

Lost in the heart of one-too-few
Or one-too-many, who never knew
The rhythms of a soulful heart,
The need of love that could barely start

Lost in the minds of more-than-one
Who called to mind when love was done,
Who feared love’s loss more than its life
I need love more than to be a wife

Why do I hide when this is not my fear?
Why slink away for another year?
Why withdraw my love because you do?
I am not one to love so few

Fear openness, fear honesty?
How can you consider this to be
The way to true intimacy?
The way to love’s simplicity?

A Sonnet of Me

You asked for me to write a song of me
And, humble, I could never think to be
So bold, so arrogant – if even true;
But this is me, and of me, just for you:

I am a soulful one, depths fathomless
To most, currents lost in my soul’s progress;
And, losing most in wand’ring through my life,
I find myself alone, sometimes in strife.

And so, seeking to find a better way,
Farther from culture’s rules, I oft do stray.
I gain more satisfaction, still, than peers;
Tend to stir, unwittingly, human fears

And find myself at odds with consuetude,
Exam’ning life’s and love’s true magnitude –
My mind and heart swelling with all I’ve found:
That love and life and beauty yet abound

When willing parties but dismiss affray,
When expectations we dispel today,
When we let live and grow our hearts’ true bliss,
When we dispense the fear of two souls’ kiss.

You asked for me to write a song of me;
And song I write, a soulful wish to free
My heart, my mind from cloistered walls of time,
Released into romantic seas, sublime!

I love with all my heart and mind, it’s true;
A paradox of love: Many, and you –
Always my heart and soul munificent,
Though I find yet a mind’s predicament:

For, how is one to prove a love is true
When love is shared by many, not by two?
When love is bound by only truth and trust?
When love is love, and lust is merely lust?

A poet’s words can fail when love is lost;
A lover’s words can fail, if you accost
Her alimony, disrespect her way;
So, put aside all fear, let love allay

An uninhib’ted life; let love be free:
I’ve found this truth to be most sensibly
The depth at which I founded my own life;
The base of me: With love, my soul is rife.

Birds of Love

Aching heart and rattled mind,
I seek a friend, and few I find
With open hearts and willing soul

I remember times of old
When love was easy, love was kind
And we were friends, all lives entwined
And we could live our lives half-blind

It behooves me yet, to see
That you’re yet coming back at me
That you’re yet coming hard and fast
That you yet want some love to last
When you cannot begin to know
That it’s not lust that lets love grow
That it’s not ours to find and search
When we’re not left on that high perch

Simple Breaths

It was simple,
A breath,
And I slipped from now to then,
And I saw your face again,
And your face remotely yours,
As we stood before the doors…

It was simple,
A breath,
My voice catching on the past,
My voice catching on the pain,
And I saw your eyes again,
And the feeling grown, fondness at last.

It was simple,
A breath,
Two friends holding hands, at last,
Two hearts still held from the past:
I found myself, now, kissing you,
Kissed in ways I never knew.

It was simple,
A breath,
All the time, it would not cease,
Two hearts yearning for release,
Seeking confirmation this was real,
Two souls seeking love to heal.

It was simple,
A breath,
And your arms around me stayed;
On your chest, my fingers splayed…
Must it always go this way?
Must I await for days and days…?

It was simple,
A breath,
I don’t want to watch this death,
Don’t want to bear another flight
When such simplicity feels right,
Can’t switch off this feeling like a light…

It was simple,
A breath,
A needed breath, no wasted time,
And I was yours and you were mine…
Please give simplicity its due;
It’s only me and only you….

It was simple,
A simple breath….

Acquaintanceships by Night and by Day

I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have been lost in the depths of a vast universe,
Lost beyond the reaches of his highest height –
And whence his words rippled from kindly to terse –

Where were you? Where were all of you who feel cause to judge
Whilst I searched the covens of all space and time,
Whilst I sloughed off all that you all begrudge,
Whilst I delved into depths of my heart and mind?

I have become one with the night,
Taking fireflies and monsters to become my friends,
Learning from cats to see with a feline’s sight
That my soul and my heart could see my paths’ ends –

And where were you? Were you shielding rays
As family, friends, children from far and wide
Came to embrace you in light of day
Whilst you did hold to your ego’s pride?

I have become acquainted with the night,
With the darkness of my soul, and with others’ too
That I may face with a whole heart my fright,
That I may learn to forgive and to love even you

Who judge. Where were you when my soul was alone?
Did you come to my aide? Did you reason to give?
Or did you only miss what was given, well-known?
Did you think to reach out, give me reason to live?

I have become one with the night and the day
Breaking reasons, unfettered by common restraints,
That I may find reason to live well, as I may;
That I may find life without common complaints –

And where, pray tell: Where do your judgements lead us
Whist I, on my own – my heart oft torn asunder,
My life and my mind leaving you in nonplus?
I find myself, day and night, filled naught but with wonder —

For I have become acquainted well with the night,
And I break, at last, into dawning of days;
And I find I shan’t run, though my wings take to flight
As I find myself, now, understanding your ways.

(First line borrowed from “Acquainted with the Night” by Robert Frost, http://www.poetryoutloud.org/poems-and-performance/poems/detail/47548 )

 

Fire & Water

Fire at your fingertips
Fire that leaps from your perfect lips
Fire that heats all of what I am
Fire that burns in your epigram

At length, you and I are endlessly drawn
You of the sun and I of the sea
Slipping through sunsets and rising at dawn
Flames crave to be quenched, and only by me

Water drips from my eyes every night
Water cleanses each burning, every harm, every slight
Water connects me always to all beings that are
Water surrounds us, no matter how far

Roil and boil in our yearning to grasp
Groping to touch as hearts at distance clasp
Fire and water barely meeting, and then
Into the ether, we rise again

Fire at your fingertips
Fire that leaps from your perfect lips
Fire that heats all of what I am
Fire that burns in your epigram

As soft as I am when I wash over you
As hard as I come when my fury’s released
I fall every day as the morning dew
Wash back again, back again, passion unceased

Water drips from my eyes every night
Water cleanses each burning, every harm, every slight
Water connects all the beings that are
Water surrounds us, no matter how far

Can you claim what is mine with all your soul’s heat?
Can a sun claim an ocean and neither retreat?
Can two beings so strong make a life that will last?
Can two such hearts meet, make a love unsurpassed?

Fire at your fingertips
Fire that leaps from your perfect lips
Fire that heats all of what I am
Fire that burns in your epigram

Heat me, embrace me with fires that burn
I’ll cool you with kisses, none sweeter than mine
I hope and I wish and I want and I yearn
Fire and water shall meet in a love genuine

Water drips from my eyes every night
Water cleanses each burning, every harm, every slight
Water connects all the beings that are
Water surrounds us, no matter how far