The Poetry Marathon

I will be gone in a year,

Progress is the only way to success

I will miss you but I have to move on with my life too.

I will visit every now and then.

Don’t make this harder than it has to be with all those tears.

It is the decision I have made.

Thank you for your support.

I will fall in love the day I see you.

You and all four of your paws,

Your big beautiful eyes will melt me like butter,

Your golden hair, will shine even on the gloomiest of days.

My future puppy.

My future love.

My face has many flaws,

I am in no way perfect,

Nor do I strive to be.

I prefer no makeup.

I prefer a real face instead of hiding behind my insecurities.

I want to be gone,

being responsible for everything…

Whether it is my fault or not!

I just want to live already!

I want to feel ALIVE!

I want to go to concerts,

Go take a hike on one of the eight wonders of the world,

Walk on the hills of the highest mountain

Scream as loud as I can!

Have a great time with friends,

Meet someone I can love,

Meet someone who can love me right.

Have my story to tell,

With many have twists and turns

but that’s the fun part of it I believe.

And even though it may turn out to be a large mess,

I know that it would be worth everything:

the travel,

the lust,

the fun,

the pain of love,

the education,

the hatred,

the flirtations,

the stressed out finals week,

the music,

the romance,

the anger,

the crazy deadlines,

the wondrous words that I write about the journey of my life

Is it selfish of me?

I don’t know.

I have responsibilities:

I have younger siblings,

I have a mother who needs me,

why does it have to be this way?

I feel like I am a financial burden.

I feel like I should just earn it all on my own.

I feel like this is done.

We need food

We need shelter

We need to feel safe

We need to survive

We need money

We need jobs

We need education

We need careers

We need support

We need drive

We need passion

We need discipline.

Symmetrically round

An orange-reddish color

Shining across the sky

When you arrive it is extremely beautiful.

When you leave it is extremely beautiful

In your absence,

You leave us with your soul mate.

Just as beautiful, but with a much different look.

This soul mate of yours shines only because of you.

Sometimes it’s bright white which helps me walk home,

Sometimes I see it turn into a yellow golden color,

Resembling Swiss cheese.

Both of you are great together,

Even though you live separately.

Staring my way,

Just look away.

You green eyed freak.

Stay away from me!

I want to be happy.

I can’t be jealous like you.

I want to laugh and smile,

Not plot revenge.

I want to make sure he’s happy

“But he deserves you!” it told me.

Stop it you green eyed monster.

I don’t want him anymore!

I want to be over this already!

I can’t have you attached to my back

Get off!

Get out of the darkest parts of mind!

I’m just fine without him.

He can go love whoever he wants.

It doesn’t matter to me anymore.

You’re just an insecure emotion who feeds off of hatred.

I will not hold a grudge because of you.

You can’t have power over me anymore.

I saw her last week,

Taking the same bus as me,

I have my head phones on,

Music playing.

Do I say anything?

I probably shouldn’t.

She’d probably think I am some kind of freak.

But then again,

She does look smart,

She’s always so busy reading.

She is looking down at her notes,

With her hair falling against her hazel cheeks,

The crack of sunlight falls perfectly against her skin.

I don’t even think she has any makeup on.

My gaze can’t help but to fall on her.

Damn it!

I look away immediately.

I think she saw me looking.

I look again,

I see her big brown eyes looking at me,

She has the longest natural lashes I have ever seen,

She smirks at me and goes back to her notes.

Okay just play it cool,

Act like you didn’t notice that beautiful smile of hers.

Check your phone.

Change this song.

Look at the driver.

Do anything to stop you from showing her how you truly feel.

Why do I do this?

She’s just a girl.

I can talk to her if I want to.

No.

She’s seems out of my league,

I just want to enjoy this moment in time right now.

I just want to see her smirk again.

Oh no…

She pulled the cord.

It’s her stop.

She’s leaving.

Should I do something?

She looks again.

Smiles at me and walks out.

It wasn’t even a smirk this time!

It was a ten watt smile!

But I’m way too late,

I guess I will have to wait…

Maybe she’ll come on this bus again some day?

The driver is ready to close the doors,

But then a few people come running in at the last second.

I run out the back door!

I don’t know what comes over me.

I think I lost her in the crowd.

I’m looking all around…

I turn back to the bus stop,

It feels like a walk of shame.

I could’ve spoken to her.

Maybe we would’ve had a connection.

I’m looking at the floor,

Shoulders shrugged,

Looking down,

Kicking the pebbles I see.

I guess I gave it a shot.

Then I look over at the bench,

And there she is.

So this conversation finally begins.

They just didn’t know it.

They envisioned their career being the most important part of their lives.

They never bothered to look for love.

It just fell into their hard working laps.

When they understood each other,

When they realized that both of them would better the other,

When they discovered the mysterious world of “Love,”

They understood that life is more than a paycheck.

One of the mysteries of life?

Unlocked with a graze of their lips.

Stepping onto the old wooden steps,

I feel as though I have seen this place before.

Where have I been for the past several years?

I have to keep moving.

Stepping onto the old wooden boat,

I feel as though I have been at this place before.

Where have I smelled this before?

I start to paddle.

Paddling deeper into the ocean,

I feel as though these waves are too familiar.

Where have I felt their push before?

I look ahead, and start to take out my fishing pole.

I realize my actions,

They have all happened before.

I have seen this image a thousand times in my dreams.

I have felt the stillness of the pole while I waited for my dinner to show.

I always woke up after this part.

Woke up in the middle of nowhere,

Woke up to the chaotic life of mine,

Woke up to the daily work load of mine,

Woke up to the unfulfilled dreams of mine.

But today I finally slept long enough to watch the first catch of my life.

I finally felt the rush of a flapping creature pulling my fishing pole.

It’s gasping for air,

I mean water.

I can’t breathe.

What did I just do?

I can’t breathe!

It’s wide eyes are staring right at mine.

It’s lips are open and it’s still flopping around.

I can’t breathe!

I mean,

The fish!

It can’t breathe!

My hands,

Violently shaking in fear.

I let it go.

It falls in and swims away.

I jump into the ocean with it.

But I can’t swim.

I am not even trying to move.

I sink down.

And I just keep sinking.

I can feel the pressure of the heavy water pushing me down,

Deeper and deeper.

I can’t breathe,

My vision is slowly fading,

I can feel the intensity of the saltwater fill my lungs.

I wake up now.

Wanting to sink to the bottom of the ocean once again.