The Poetry Marathon

History  a tainted word, a dirty word, a buzzword

History should make us feel uncomfortable or we become complacent

We have learned nothing

History should not be censored

Censorship tells us what is fit to learn

Censorship decides what we are allowed to know

History should be shown in all its grotesque glory

Do not sugar coat, spill half truths

Paint the white hats and black cloaks on whichever side you deem the right side

There is no right side to history

I have many wonderful talents, abilities, skills

I can get a group of crazy seven year-olds to be quiet for like a minute and a half, just long enough to take roll call

I can solve any imaginary hurt with my box of band-aids

I can ask probing questions- “Why is there a frog in your desk?”

I can give thoughtful advice- “We don’t lick our friends’ knees.”

I can give thoughtful, lifelong advice- “We don’t lick anyone’s knees.”

I can read upside down, write upside down, and if needed I can hold a small child upside down

I can tell what the kid in the 3rd row is about to do to the kid in the 2nd row without even turning around

I can stop an insurrection with just one look

I can sing endless verses of Down By the Bay

I can create anything out of toilet paper tubes, Elmer’s glue and ten pounds of glitter

I can eat faster than any animal on earth and hold my bladder for days

I can negotiate parent conferences, admin observations, and school performances with finesse

I can make up stories about buying 68 watermelons, because everyone buys 68 watermelons

I can spend my nights and weekends grading papers, preparing lessons, and picking up extra supplies

I can live off coffee, chocolate, and sunshine

I can do this all with a smile

Because I teach, that’s my super power

Closets

Small, enclosed rooms

Used to store:

• Clothing
• Christmas decorations
• Winter coats
• Cleaning supplies
• Boots
• Wrapping Paper
• And way too many hats!

Used to hide:

• Worst Hide and Seek players (really, everyone looks there first!)
• Secrets
• Ammunition
• Skeletons
• Dead bodies (although, like I said, everyone looks there first!)
• Christmas presents
• The Good Chocolate
• And way too many hats!

Things that should never be in closets:

• Best Hide and Seek players
• Monsters
• Ghosts
• Hostages
• Your voice
• Your sexuality
• Your identity
• And, actually, way too many hats!

A well adjusted person would have give not a second thought about venturing down the magically lit path through the woods

I, on the other hand, have seen one too many true crime stories for that

Even in fairy tales we are warned about wandering into the woods alone

Although the wolves in those stories are much different than those on Dateline

I think the moral of both tales is simply-

Little girls who stay home in their PJs listening to stories fare much better than little girls who go skipping into the woods

What is love?

What a ridiculous question!

What a ridiculous, unanswerable question!

Love is a many splendid thing

It is both ancient and timeless

It knows no age, no bias, no gender, no bounds

Love is limitless

The limit does not exist

Love is not something to be found, it just shows up

In its own time, in its own place, on its own terms

And it leaves in much the same way

You can not lock it up or force it to stay

You can not run away from it, you can not run to it

It is a race you can not win

Love is contrary and contradictory

Slow burning-explosive

Mutual-unrequited

Platonic-passionate

Terrifying- exhilarating

Joyous- heartbreaking

The dictionary defines love as “an intense feeling of affection”

Let’s just go with that….

That cinnamon, autumn afternoon

Linda Ronstadt crooning “Blue Bayou” through the speakers of the stereo

You and I curled up under a beet-red blanket on the floor of your daddy’s carport

Cigarette smoke still lilting from the ash bucket twists around the naked lightbulb above our makeshift bed

You kiss me with the slightest tremor and I ask you what you’re thinking about

Somehow I don’t believe you when you tell me, “Do elk need jackets when out in the rain?”

But trust me, I understand, sometimes the words just get in the way

I kiss you back, light another cigarette, smile and say, “Goloshes, too!”

Some of my best daydreams come at night

In the stillness, coolness of the starry sky

I can see how the ancient Greeks made stories of constellations

Complete deities of the Milky Way

Explanations of the unknown under a moonless sky

Archetypes of the cosmos

Mirrored on a celestial screen

I promise myself, today

I will not cry

My tear soaked pillow can hold no more

My scratchy throat can sob no more

My blood shot eyes can burn no more

I take a deep breath

I promise myself, today

I will not call you

Just to hear your voice

Just to apologize for sins that are not mine

I delete your number

I take a deep breath

I promise myself, today

I will not read your old messages

The ones where you say you love me

I delete the messages

Every last one of them

I take a deep breath

I promise myself, today

I will not put on your old shirt

I pack your shirt away

Along with every tangible memory of you

I put you away

I take a deep breath and

I promise myself today

Today my soul doesn’t know what to say

I keep writing and rewriting the same few lines

Nothing seems to come together

One word becomes another

But they just can’t connect

At this point it may just be hieroglyph

Undescriptive  symbols

Without reason, without meaning, without message

Nothing profound

Chicken scratch across a page

That goes on and on and on and on…….

Maybe that’s what lies over the edge of the world

Demons, monsters, fairy tales, and unfinished poetry….

Excuse me, but can you help me out?

You see, I swear she was right here

Right where I left her

Freckled faced, dishwater blonde

Grass stained knees, teeth too big, legs too short

Heart as big as the ocean

Curious, hopeful, trusting

Blue eyes open wide to a world of possibilities

Dreams bigger than her small corner of the world

You see, I went on ahead

I promised to come back for her some day

But I got lost along the way

I got lost in chasing those dreams down dead end streets

I got distracted by the promises made by those who did not deserve that trust

Curiosity outweighed caution, hope was replaced by despair

My blue eyes are too clouded by tears to see anything apart from impossibility

My knees are scraped and bloodied

My teeth broken on screams that no one hears

My heart drowns in an ocean of what could’ve been

My freckles are replaced with age marks and my dishwater blonde has faded to grey

So now, I have come back

I have come back to find that piece of me I left behind for a rainy day

The piece of me who remains innocent, unjaded, untarnished by all this life has done to me

I have come back to reclaim her, to remember

What it feels like to be young, hopeful, trusting

To dream….

So, can you help me out?

You see, I swear she was right here…..