The Poetry Marathon

Tonight I watch the stars
Thinking of the skies that are past
In a place I cannot go to anymore
Missing you laugh at something I said
Your eyes mirroring worlds I couldn’t see
Knowing so well I was caught in a whirlpool
As your hands reach for me
And I take it without hesitancy
Wishing this night would last
As dark as it may be.

If you go to the lake between the mountains
At 5 in the morning in the Fall
You will see Little Tommy and his dog
Readying their wooden boat

Little Tommy wears a red scarf
And yellow beanie with a hole
His brown jacket is faded thin
His necklace holds his mamma’s soul

Little Tommy is quiet
You can greet him but he’ll just smile
Some days if you look closely enough
You can see some tears behind his eyes

Little Tommy sits in his boat
Waiting for the sun to arrive
He wields his powers of serene silence
And brings calm after a chaotic night

Little Tommy hums a song
So quietly even he strains to hear it
But it’s the song he sings every morning
Along with the cold wind that blows

Little Tommy does not have much
But he never fails to show up
It’s the little things that count, his t-shirt says
It looks like he painted it himself

Little Tommy paddles back to shore
Gently smiles at you again
And you wonder at what humanity is
When you think of him again

You loved playing with fire
As a kid you burnt up all the candles
We always ran out of matchboxes
And Pappa was not pleased

Some lonely nights I’d scream
When my fears would ignite
Take over the house of thoughts
And the flames would rise high
You would come along with damp eye
And put out the fires in my mind
The ones I kept starting
And did not know how to control
They burnt my hands and heart
And I would hold onto your warmth
Fall asleep with you on guard
Protecting me from the cold world outside.

Your ashes are in the tin can
I’m holding close as the curtains blaze
I started this fire like you sometimes did
The house can fall, I need the warmth.

It was only a game, a silly one
Maybe that’s why I don’t remember much else
but retrospective knowledge is a deadly friend
and it forces the wound open
when you did not know it existed
Now there is anger and hate
Disgust at everything they say
You will not speak of it
Maybe amnesia is your friend.

The lantern at the doorpost
of my grandmother’s house
has a curious carving of leaves
like the ones from the stories
I said an elf made it
in his house on the hills
like the one in the storybook
next to my bow-tied bear
Grandmother said it wasn’t so
It was just like the ones in the valley below
but I never believed her, I never could
with so much magic in me
I don’t think I should

All my memories of before
Had specks of you in gold
I saw you everywhere
Flitting through my skies
Now the days are darker
I don’t see you much around
So today when you brought me a little light
I felt freer from the ground.

I’m not here to hurt you
I can see you’re scared
I wish you knew that I am too
But our paths have to cross here
The skin you shed I will not step on
It was difficult for me too.

The sea is calm tonight
Won’t you sing with me?
We may not last this fight
But that doesn’t matter, you see?
The birds asleep, they know this tune
My final breath, it’s coming soon
See it riding the wave
Arriving, like autumn
With a splash of colour
A finale in moonlight
I can hear the song
Oh won’t you sing along
As I say goodbye

In no particular order
I like the colour blue,
Every time the baby cries, I remember amma
How she cried too when the days got hard
That time you brought me a flower
I dreamt about a garden at night
I don’t write as much as I should
I am afraid of words and what they do
I want to go to Amsterdam some day
You’re the only person who has seen me cry
When my brother was twenty, he left home
I wait for him to return sometimes
One day I watched the stars
And realized I was not lost
I’ve kept the little note you wrote in a diary
I hope I won’t have to throw it away
I have a friend who will bring me sunflowers
When I realize my days are few
There’s a little box in my head locked with a key
Inside is a book and a photograph of you laughing
I liked it when you laughed
It made me think of home
When I said even songbirds stop singing
I wished it wasn’t true
That day I let you go, I wanted you to stay.

Little me was brave
As she jumped into the river
When the black umbrella fell in

I really needed it
It was going to rain
I had to stay dry

They found the umbrella later
I heard mumma sob, it was battered
I was glad she couldn’t see me