Hour 14

**That Girl**

Do you see that girl?
Well, you know what she does every night?
She bawls her eyes out & cuddles with her stuffed animals because its the only thing she has of her family.
Your probably thinking is her family dead.
They’re not they just live away from her.
Well, when she gets up in the morning she puts on her smile like its her makeup.
She has a bad day just about everyday.
That’s why she goes home every night & practically cries herself to sleep.
She gets her hopes up saying the next day is going to be better & different.
She gets home & gets proven wrong.
She feels these things no teenage girl should.
She second guesses herself all the time.
When she gets a lot of attention in one day she thinks someone set her up.
She believed that cutting was the answer.
Well, now she is going to just cry.
She loves her life & knows not to end it for another.
She wants to be something in life so she knows she can’t do that if she’s dead.
She knows that people care but what she really wants to know why people have to be so mean.
She wants to know if you will be there when she needs you the most.
She wants to know if you really care.
If you really like her.
She wants to know why she has very few friends.
She thinks she knows why she has very few friends because people don’t try to get to know her, judge her on her looks, her loudness.
Well, you know what her loudness is speaking louder than ever right now she wants to fit in she wants people to stop judging her on her looks & loudness.
But people won’t ever stop judging other people because of what the cover looks like.
Everyday she has a bad day she thinks that the only thing she can do is cut.
Her blade is on her bedside table.
Everyday gets close to the ones who actually care her heart sinks, she pulls down the sleeves, she keeps it to herself she doesn’t want to hurt the ones she loves.
Once again she starts to cut because people have to be so mean.
Each one of those cuts has their own story.
Don’t say you love her if you don’t because she already has trust issues.
You have no idea what she’s been through.
She hopes the ones that care will sweep her off of her feet & save her.
She wants them to tell her “I know your not okay I understand if I was going through I would do the same keep everything to myself, cry myself to sleep, maybe cut myself.”
She wonders do they actually see me dying on the inside?
She just wonders.
She wants to be accepted for her personality, & heart.
Not her looks, the scars, or her loudness.
She just wants to be accepted.
She just wants to stop soaking her pillow every night.
But she won’t be able to while people are being so mean.
Get to know a person before you judge them?
No one gets that saying.
Don’t judge a book by its cover.
No one gets that one either.
Because if they did she would fit in perfectly fine.
She just wants to be accepted for her true self.
But for now she will stick with the friends who have been by her through all the bull crap.
The ones who really cares & has cared all along.
She will still have those trust issues even after people start to accept her.
She will still second guess herself.
She has trouble letting people in you know?
You don’t know this either.
She has always had trouble with this because everyone who said “I love you” she believed them & they all left.
Just one time she wants to know after you say those three little words you will stay.
Everyone uses those words so easy these days.
She thinks that other people think those words are as natural as peeing.
She wants that one person to prove her wrong.
She just wants that one person to come to her & say I draw just like you do.
We draw the same pictures on our arms.
We cry at the same story.
I want to help you because I know if we have each other we can help each other.
They will be the best of friends.
But for now she’s just waiting for that one person.
For now she will deal with the pain.
She will draw the same picture on her arm every time all the bull crap builds up.
But for now she will cry at the same story she rereads everyday of her life.

~April Sue Kraniak~

Hour 13

** Bacon **

I smell the aroma of the bacon.
I walk into the kitchen,
Helping, my mom with the Sunday breakfast.
I put the eggs in the frying pan and hear them sizzle as they touch the pan.
When the bacon was done we sit down at the table and enjoy the,
Hot, mouth watering, crispy bacon.

~April Sue Kraniak~

Hour 12

** Our Relationship **

From and hour and a half away.
We talk on Skype,
Making each other laugh.
Saying Iloveyou every five minutes.
Telling our hilarious moments just hear each other laugh.
Then one of us quits talking and it gets silent.
And just leaving us listening to each others breath.
Its so peaceful.
Then out of no where he whispers Iloveyou princess.
I whispered Iloveyou too handsome.

~April Sue Kraniak~

Hour 11

** Him **

He, has brown eyes and brown hair.
His laugh gets me every time on Skype.
He loves me for me.

He is smart.

If you saw him the way I do.
Well, then we have a problem.
Because he’s mine.

And I love him.
He’s romantic and cheesy.
But serious when he needs to be.

He’s scared I’m going to leave.
Even after I tell him I’m not.
He’s mine.

He wishes that one day we can finally meet.
He wants to hold me.
Kiss me.

He never implies it,
but I know he wants to ask me,
to never stop loving him.

The late night cute texts from him,
are so adorable.
I love him.

He, never fails me.
He makes me smile when I don’t want to.
He is there when my anxiety comes.

He, is the perfect man for me.
He is the love of my life, the one we want us to be each others firsts.
He is the only and always will be the man I love.

~April Sue Kraniak~

Hour 10

** She’s a beauty **

Shelby, you’re so beautiful.
I see so many pictures of her.
I am almost cry at how beautiful she is.
I just want to go over and hug her.
I want to go over there and open her heart up,
to see what’s inside.
To see if her heart is as more beautiful than her cover.
I open her up slowly not wanting to hurt her.
I hope she knows I’m not like all those other ones who have,
open her up, she letting them in, and then leave.
I tell her she’s never leaving my sight.
She’s just too beautiful for that.
She’s the love of my life.

Now, she is a 1967 Shelby Mustang, GT 500.
I have so many pictures of her from the original owner.
I am almost cry at how beautiful she is.
I just want to go over and hug her.
I want to go over there and open her heart up,
to see what’s inside of the hood.
To see if her engine is as more beautiful than her cover.
I open her up slowly not wanting to hurt her.
I hope she knows I’m not like all those other ones who have,
open her hood, she letting them in, take a drive, and then leave.
I tell her she’s never leaving my sight.
She’s just too beautiful for that.
She’s the love of my life.
I’m a girl, and so is Shelby.
Shelby, is so beautiful.

~April Sue Kraniak ~

Hour 9

** What am I? **

You wake up from no sleep,
or even a dead sleep from alarm.
Exhausted you slide out of bed.
Start your shower.
Go into the kitchen,
Take the spoon dip it in the silky shell shaped brownish things and let them grind and start its process like every other morning.
You take your hot shower.
Get dressed.
Come back into the kitchen,
Mixing the ingredients in this delicious drink.
You sit at the table staring off into space until you finish this magical thing,
That’s supposed to give you energy.
Some people it makes them fall asleep, some people it gives them energy.
And this is something people all around the world make every single day.
And then drink it because its good.
And gives energy.
Some, people think its insipid.
Like me.
I have no intention for it.
But, other people do.
What am I?

~April Sue Kraniak~

Hour 8

**Cinderella (Dark Twist) **

Imagine you grew up
Playing Cinderella.
Daddy was the king.
Mommy was the queen.
The two mean girls at school are the evil step sisters.

Now, imagine.
Daddy barely knows you cry your eyes out to fall asleep at night.
Because the evil step sisters.
Mommy is still queen but knows nothing.

Instead of cleaning the house on the night of the ball.
You are bawling your eyes out.
Making more cuts that will turn into scars.

Instead of finding prince charming you found
your best friends which are a piece of metal,
your pen and paper, and hoodies.
No, ball gowns and no glass slippers.
Just hoodies and jeans.

Instead of marrying prince charming,
you leave the note on the bed,
Mom finds the note and screams for daddy.
You never went to the ball,
You never met prince charming,
You never married him,
Daddy never walked you down the isle.
You will be forever missed.
Even by those evil ‘step sisters’
Prince charming was the boy in your class who loved you deeply.
You would have found out sooner or later.
But, now we will never know.
We love you Cinderella.

~April Sue Kraniak~

Hour 7


I read those
Dull, dark,
frightful words.
You have to stop doing this to me.
Do, your realize what you do to me?

My heart
dies & comes back.
Tears roll down my face.
They dry up.
As more and more come.
More and more flood out.

Stop, hurting me like this.
I can’t loose you.
Stop hurting me like this?
Its all I’m asking.
It hurts me more than you notice.

You have to stop doing this to her.
So, she’ll stop doing this to me.
Just, stop okay?
It hurts my heart worse,
than anything…
Please, stop?

Yours truly,

~April Sue Kraniak~

Hour 6

** Decisions **

As she climbs the hill to the top of the opening of the walk way underneath her feet.
She sits.
Dangling legs.
Heart sinks.
Tears rolling down her face.
Wondering why.
Why he had to leave.
He was my best friend.
I never told him that I love him.
I wish he could be here right here with me.
The clear blue rock she sits on becomes darker,
and darker as every tear falls from her face.
She sits looking over the edge.
Will it kill me?
Let me be with him?
Should I fall over or walk town and continue with my life?
She stands up
Bawling now,
She leans over the edge and jumps.
Instantly dead.
Instantly their souls meet in heaven.

~April Sue Kraniak~

Hour 5

**Goodbye World **

Dark nights.
wiping the tears off her face as they touch her jaw.
Dreary days.
as she picks out an outfit, one to cover her skin.
Blind spots.
no one notices why she is the way she is.
Pain hurts.
she aches in pain, from every hit.
He hits.
when he’s drunk he hits her precious skin.
Kill me.
she doesn’t want to be here anymore.
the neighbor called the cops.
He got.
more furious.
Goodbye world.
was the last longing words her mother read.
Clueless mother.
her mother never knew, now she lost her own daughter.
Divorce papers.
she divorced him moved across the country.
Her grave.
mom buried you close to her new home.
You are.
you were, are, and always will be loved and missed.

~April Sue Kraniak~