“A New Wall”

I’ve come to a wall.

It seems to stretch forever in either direction.

It’s not a tall wall.

But I’m too tired to climb.

Dig? No, that’s ridiculous.

What do I do?

It’s a simple wall.

Not too tall, but big enough to block my way.

The climb won’t kill me if I fall.

So why aren’t I tackling it?

Why have I stopped?

My feet aren’t stuck, I can still freely move about.

But I’m standing still.

Do I need a rest?

Surely, this can’t be the end.

I’ve climbed many walls before.

How is this one any different?

 

Oh, right.

It’s not.

It’s me.

I’ve changed.

It’s no longer just me that has to climb over.

It’s my partner. My daughter. My family.

I don’t just care for me anymore.

Shouldn’t that be my fuel?

Why am I still not motivated?

How do I change that?

Can I change that?

 

I don’t know.

I don’t have all the answers anymore.

And I’m so tired.