I should have had,
well, that implies i’m owed…
facts are, i’m not.
Cause numbers don’t lie
and 4 out of every 10 children are born to unwed mothers.
so, I wished I’d have had some guidance,
but instead I had…

“Books for beginners:
things you need to know, if you didn’t have a dad”

i’m still learning though,
because i couldn’t face the read!
Who wants to hear their own internal voice reading pep talks no one ever gave you?

Yeah,
i’m still that kid!
No matter how cruelly
my brother calls me out
for crying about things from so long past.

Now i dream of knowledge
from the book of war!
No longer do i seek the bond of kinship,
dreams of friendship laid to waste
for the words of Clausewitz and Sun-tzu.
I am crafting my ability to survive

There was a time i let the writings of the spirit guide me
Undoubted sent down truth.
i am still prone to seek the wisdom He has left there.
Promises of weights He knows my frame can bare,
to care for me, to not leave!
There is the smolder of a fire ready to rage in me.
The soot of sin making me desperate and dirty.

Still, He reminds me His book is for old wounds and beginners too.

“You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you…” –John 15:3-4