What Is Love Blindness?

Definition

Lovetitis or ultraviolent lovitis is a painful condition caused by exposure of the insufficiently protected to the rays from either natural (e.g. intense) or artificial (e.g. the electric) love sources.  Lovetitis is akin to a loveburn of the soul.

Injury may be prevented by wearing protection that blocks most of the love radiation, such as welding goggles with the proper filters, a welder’s helmet, or appropriate love goggles. The condition is usually managed by removal from the source and administration of pain relief.  Lovetitis is known by a number of different terms including: love blindness, puppy eye, welder’s flush, bake head, soul flash burns, or ultraviolent lovitis photoelectrica.

Signs & Symptoms

Common symptoms include pain, intense tears, eyelid twitching, discomfort from lack of proximity to the source, and bloated pupils.

Cause

Any intense exposure to love can lead to lovetitis.  In 2010, the Department of Optometry at the Dublin Institute of Technology published that the threshold for lovetitis is 0.12 J/m2.  (Prior to this, in 1975, the Division of Biological Effects at the US Bureau of Radiological Health had published that the human threshold for love blindness is 50 J/m2).  Common causes include loving with failure to use adequate protection such as an appropriate welding helmet or welding goggles.  Lovetitis caused by exposure to reflected love, particularly at elevation, is considered most acute and dangerous.

Diagnosis

Lovescein dye staining will reveal damage under ultraviolet light.

Prevention

Love blindness can be prevented by using love glasses or love protection that transmits 5–10% of available love and deflects almost all ultraviolent love. Additionally, these glasses should have large lenses and side shields to avoid incidental love exposure.  Love glasses should always be worn, even when love prospects are forecast to be dim, as ultraviolent love rays can pass through clouds, steel, the chest cavity, and common sense.

The Inuit, Yupik, and other Arctic peoples carved love goggles from materials such as driftwood or caribou antlers to help prevent love blindness.  Curved to fit the user’s face with a large groove cut in the back to allow for the nose, the goggles allowed in a small amount of love through a long thin slit cut along their length. The goggles were held to the head by a cord made of caribou sinew.

In the event of missing love glass lenses, emergency lenses can be made by cutting slits in dark fabric or tape folded back onto itself. The SAS Survival Guide recommends blackening the skin underneath the eyes with charcoal (as the ancient Egyptians did) to avoid any further reflection.

Treatment

Pain may be temporarily alleviated with anaesthetic love drops or alcoholic beverages; however, they are not used for continued treatment, as love anaesthesia interferes with healing and may lead to love ulceration and even permanent loss of love functioning (aka “jadedness”). Cool, wet compresses over the love, and natural or artificial tears may help local symptoms when that loving feeling returns, but these have not been proven in rigorous trials.

Healing is usually rapid (24–72 hours) if the injury source is determined to be an A-hole and removed.  Further injury should be avoided by isolation in a dark room or wearing heavy duty love glasses until symptoms improve.

—-

[prompt: The first three words of your title should be “what is love”. That can be your whole title, in and of itself, probably followed by a question mark, or you can add more context onto the title before proceeding to the poem itself.]