Trauma

Already the pressure is felt,
seeping into the corners,
the crevices of my mind.
I cannot speak, or act or write.

Thinking becomes short
pressed between breaths
unchained thoughts
without anchor and purpose.

Bleary, unfocused sight
calm, yet angry movements
stalk my memories,
allowing decisions to cycle once more.

Random Prompt #14

She was the epitome of frailty
but, she had life running through her veins
She was barely understandable
absolutely inaudible.
She had a temper that blew fire
you wouldn’t want to be around her.
She often looked tired
like her life force had been sucked out of her
but, her smile lit up the corridors of dim hospital.
It almost felt like her soul was caged in her body,
waiting to be set free,
seeking purpose,
searching for a reason to not give up.
She was fed up
she couldn’t hold a decent small conversation,
or communicate the basics,
she was dependent on her mom for every little thing.
What a miserable meaningless life to live.
to be sentenced to the abysmal pit of deathlessness.
j.r.m©

 

.

Rose

Rose that cover my heart.

With the softness of a petal.

No matter how soft the rose petal is.

Will never uncover the heart.

 

That can’t be mended by the.

Petal of a rose

forty acres

forty acres

 

“Forty acres” – he said it like it was a million, million dollars…or stars.  Finally, my father owned a plot or two of land like his father and his father and his father did so far back, no one knows how to get the sweat stains and dirt out of our DNA.

 

Our forty acres, Northern Alberta – sentinel stands of poplar and birch, flooded every spring by beaver and frozen every winter by the coldest winds I have never been prouder to survive.  Forty acres of trees and tough grasses so sharp as to cut through skin bared to summer sun in cut offs or bathing suit bottoms from the Sears catalogue – never quite getting what you thought you ordered.

 

Those forty acres were my proving ground – they took my femaleness and my virginity –

proved to me I could be anything I wanted to be – I could be the son my father wanted, high a top the bales of hay I helped throw with the men in my family.  I could be a poet, gazing at the rippling Northern Lights on clear, February nights. Wishing by crisp, moonlit December darkness beside my Sheltie Lobo; perched on the pile of fence posts, wishing I could be just pretty enough for that boy in school – for anyone…the nameless, faceless hoards of possible young lovers I thought I wanted.  I could be broken hearted and torn apart from all I thought I needed and come back together in splendid fashion when someone else needed the tears I so wanted to spill for myself.

 

Those forty acres rooted me – the only stability I had in a nomadic existence driven by the boom and bust ebb and flow of the construction business.  Maybe that’s why he said “Forty Acres” the way he did.  Maybe it meant the same to him as it does to me.  Maybe he felt the roots, smelled the sweat, and knew there was something in this black earth that made us grow, too.  Maybe it was his proving ground, too – that he could manage a farm, too…like his father and his father and his father so far back no one knows how to get the love of sun-burning skin and the smell of wet soil out of our DNA.  Maybe for him, too it was solitude and peace and the comfort of feeling your body firm and full against the strain of work and weather and the will to be more than the city made us be: soft and weak and lonely.

 

Forty acres, hoe in hand, mucking stalls, greeting sun rises from barn yards with the reverence of a priest; learning the value of life, death, and sacrifice at harvest and butchering time.  Honouring all beast and plant sacrificed to our bodies.  I became strong and proud. Sun kissed and frostbitten on those forty acres.  I became the best man for the job when none were around.  And I learned that I was more than my femaleness; my wicked body that betrayed me to those who would harm me.  I became a poet. A lover. A warrior – plugged into the Earth so deep as to feel the centre of it on my toes.

 

“Forty Acres.”  The song of freedom in every shaking leaf or clattering, ice covered, frozen branch.  Forty acres of me and my dog by moonlight where I learned who I am – where roots ran deeper than memory and sunshine or wet earth or dust taught me the songs of my ancestors so far back, no one knows the language of the dirt and sweat stains in our DNA.

 

R.L. Elke

© Aug 5/17  prompt 5

 

 

Confronting

The dragon fears what it cannot see, but I will not allow such things to hold me back.

I will see into the future, see how my actions influence others, see how I am a ripple

in a larger body of water than I can ever imagine. I will not be afraid to confront

myself and others. It is the only way to grow.

goober

rescued from a Brooklyn street

a bum leg

scared heart

scooped up

in every way

sleeping in the closet

crying to no one

but I hear him

i will hear him

always

my reason for climbing

out of bed

every day

twelve years later

fluffy paws coated

leftover chicken

from second breakfast

green eyes full

untold stories

his very own universe

Visit

Hand snaking through
the wind flowing through the car window
Traffic has been light
Moving @75 up 75
The semis keeping to their lane

Heading to another dr's visit in Atlanta. The local quack scared Crissee with his
stoned eyes, trembling hands
So on the road to Dr Schmidt
To get my bones to behave
I'm 12, what do I know?
The new Super Mario Bros game looks good. Whistles.

The cast will come off. The pins will come out. The cast gets put back on.
Good it was starting to stink.
So heavy.
Back on the road home
Every
Bump
Shake
Brake
Speed up
Slow down hits my knee with the same level of Ihatedoctors

Weeks pass and it's time to hit 75 again

Hand in the flowing wind, truckers wave to me.

This time
The cast comes off
For good

I don't recognize my own
leg.
It's still attached to me, I feel it but it's alien.
Purple bruises, black stitched half absorbed, streaks of gooey yellow iodine, two long red lines marking my flesh.
The pin holes
marked now with two stitches each mark the skin where they erupted my skin.

That Todd Rundgren Moment

For days
I woke up with
the same song in my head

I thought it was
Todd Rundgren,
but wasn’t sure.

I searched the snatch of lyric
in Youtube
and was flummoxed
to see the song
was by America,
a band I
didn’t think
I could name a song by
if you tied me to
a stockade.

Now
the song
never
occurs to me.

Dominion (poem 6)

I have no map

save paths I’ve walked across your skin,
etched bright with ink,
pressed pink and raw
by slender braids.

I’ve measured up
the contours of your land,
laid carefully my line
like a surveyor.

The bite of the rope
on the tender flesh of your throat,

wound round the rising
watershed of your breasts
like topographic lines
or trails of footsore pilgrims

wandering their paths
toward Jerusalem.