The Poetry Marathon

Heart’s Love

It’s odd because, you see

I’ve always kept my heart to me.

I knew my body, heart and mind

And handled love, cruel and kind

With empathetic respect

So no one would suspect

That even the closest of affairs

Ended and I didn’t care.

Love as emotion, I thought it to be,

Not a state of being, like living free.

So by the time I understood

That real love was true and good,

I was empowered by the thought:

Love is real. It can’t be bought.

Love became the lens of feelings

Leaving all the senses reeling.

Heart break for me came too late.

I came to feel that is was fate.

By exposing your heart to love so true

Leaves you lonely, sad and blue.

But exposing your heart to love that’s real,

Is worth all the feelings that you feel.

 

 

Even though you left #16

I always loved you daddy even though you left us, while I was young,

As I was growing up, I always got some what high strung,

I would blame my lovely mother, for you not being around,

For it was with her sister, where love you have found.

I could not understand why , when she looked like my sweet mom,

Did I do something, or was it because of who I came from?

My mom did love you so much, you broke her heart in two,

You tore to girls apart, when you left thinking about you.

Years have gone by now daddy, and now we don’t even talk,

I never gave up on you daddy, yet from me again you walk,

Did you ever love me, I always believed you did you know,

I thought it was your wife that hated me, that is why you had to go.

Now it has been four years since I have even heard your voice,

Some days it kills me, knowing that it truly is your choice,

Not only did you walk away from me out of anger but my children too,

You have taught me that men, are heartbreaking and what they’ll put me through.

I wish you the best daddy, but I almost lost my son a month ago,

So I am very sorry, but a relationship goal with you, I have to let go,

You have denied us for almost 5 years now, I have almost had myself hung,

I have always loved you daddy even though you left us, while I was young.

#17 – Evelyn (First Broken Heart)

Barricuda cruising
on the street
Radio blaring
Motown beat
Streetlights flashing
got the speed
She’s beside me
smoking weed
Dancing wiggly
on the bucket
Slow down baby
I say fuck it
Wheeling hungry
asphalt road
Sipping whiskey
taste the toad
Back seat spanky
mutual fun
Late night craving
we meet the sun
Took her home
called a creep
Kissed her softly
home to sleep
Two days later
she was dead
Took some pills
fucked her head
Took some more
stopped her breath
They never called
about her death
why’d she do it
i often asked
i loved her deeply
now it’s past
my heart was broken
not to mend
I never knew
a life to end
Was it my fault
was it hers
or, her parents
was it yours
Does it matter
life went on
Does it matter
now she’s gone

Poem 15 – Shaunton’s Heart

A medical scare,
Emotional disconnection
From myself
From my life
From the goals I set for longevity,
Uncomfortable discussions exchanged with my doctor.
I didn’t want to believe it,
I had to hear the truth.
Choices,
I had none.
It was either live or die.
I chose to live.
I didn’t want butter, cheese and fried food to snatch me from the beautiful handcrafts of God.
I didn’t suspect my favorite greasy foods to be silent killers.
I expected to eat what I wanted
FOREVER,
I KNEW I would live forever,
But that was impossible.
I refuse to leave my body without saying goodbye properly,
I lived too much to die so soon over nothing.
So I chose to live,
To eat better,
Walk away stress
And take better care of
Shaunton’s heart.

Calamity Jane — American Badass and Suspected Liar

There’s no valid explanation for her moniker.
Perhaps the disaster of her male dress
when high collars and long skirts
were called for.
Or her trek west atop horse,
fearless where others were not.
Credibility is called into question
when alcohol scents female breath.
Besides, we all know Wild Bill
would never fuck such a catastrophe.
That hero of American masculinity
and murderous spirit.
Truth belongs to history and sharpshooters
And you’re the liar if you disagree.

Hour 17 – First Heartbreak

First Kiss

---

I floated home on clouds the day we met;
that first great kiss changed everything and more.
My life was full of “Haven’t done that yet,”
(I’d never tasted someone’s tongue before).

That first great kiss changed everything and more;
you taught me what it was to fall in love.
I’d never tasted someone’s tongue before,
but kissing, for you, just wasn’t enough.

You taught me what it was to fall in love.
My virgin hands were unsure what to do,
but kissing, for you, just wasn’t enough.
You made me want to learn the rest from you.

My virgin hands were unsure what to do –
my life was full of “Haven’t done that yet.”
You made me want to learn the rest from you;
I floated home on clouds the day we met.

---

Imperfect Explanation

I keep the pieces

of the angel ball.

They are too lovely

to discard–

hand painted wings

and stars and sky

(and dried red

peppers in a bunch)

on egg-shell slivered

glass.

 

Ideas broke my heart . . .

be perfect, which you cannot be.

I struggle to explain.

The shards did not

go back as planned.

The pieces fall to earth.

Poem 16 – I Think Life Is Living

To live without fear is ancient,
To fear love without a soul is unconscious.
To love without hope is lost.
To hope and pray means to have courage.
To pray and worry is time wasted.
To worry about neighbors is a pitiful excuse that never existed,
To have neighbors but never mingle is lifeless.
To mingle without gratitude is heartbreaking,
Having no gratitude is having air and not being able to breathe,
To live without fear is predictable.

Greatness

For greatness to be laudable,
ponder: sincerity and gentleness;
authenticity and gracefulness; and sanctity.
Practice these;
and your heart and mind
will be deserving of praise.

Tricky Dick

Just four years old, I was.
A toddler, still, but a talkative one.

The year was 1963.
A day in history
None would soon forget.

His name was Richard.
A man of many years
And much power,
Apparently.

There was a party at my house –
One that celebrated
The pending death
Of a man.

Richard was jealous
Of the man.

He wanted his job.

I said, “let’s take turns.”
And
To make a long story short,
He slapped me for saying it.
Because girls can’t have jobs.

Then another man said
“Richard, she’s just a kid.”

To which he replied:
“Don’t use my name.”

He turned, looked straight at me
As I cried.
My face stinging and red,
Tears not dried.

“She’s smart. She’ll remember.”

Years later, Richard went down
In tricky flames. Poor Richard.

I’m more than just smart.