Dear ten-year-old me,

Let’s get down to business shall we?

Firstly, take off the fake leather jacket,

It doesn’t look good, you look like a pretentious maggot,

We both know you’re only one of those,

 

Stop crying out “I know! Miss I know the answer”

It was a rhetorical question, you chancer,

And when you get something wrong,

Don’t cry, please don’t , you look like such a fool,

Don’t even get me started on the swimming pool,

 

Nobody likes it when you act so condescending,

Your massive ego is never-ending,

You just expect everything to go your way,

It won’t, so please just stop,

And grow the hell up

 

And I know this is cruel,

But I’m glad I’m not you,

— 13-year-old me