CW: misgendering (mention); parental estrangement

Getting What You Want Isn’t Always Getting What You Want

It’s funny how putting 2,218 miles between

me and her and her words and

their ability to nag at at my will to exist

Doesn’t actually put space between

me and her words.

A new phone number doesn’t stop me from

wondering how she took it all.

Trying to squeeze out every last drop of will to

not unblock her on Facebook to see.

Only to fail and realize you can’t block the same person again for 48 hours.

 

It turns out 4 months is

the space I needed to miss her for once.

Actually, 4 months to have what I know is false hope that

she could be a better mother;

One who uses the right pronouns;

One who tries to work within my boundaries.

Funny how those months and those miles, somehow,

got her to listen and to fit into my boundaries.