DogSpeak #23 Employment Application
Name
The Dog
Skills:
Retriever
fetch and fill with slobber,
shred into crosscut pieces
Landscaper
unearth anything that makes noise
or smells bad; digger, unplanter, uprooter
Demolition Expert
any material, no job too big or small;
no clean-up included
Bounty Hunter
animal, vegetable, mineral
anything, anywhere, delivered dead unless
specified
Refrigerator Janitor
cleaned and cleaned out but no kale,
broccoli, spinach, nothing green
Available Shifts
between naps and meals
Salary Desired
bones, kibble, treats, toys
gas money for my humans
When Can You Start
after lunch but I have to be home for dinner
I can’t stay out after dark
References
Spot, Rover, Buster, Opie, Snickers,
Munchkin, Gumball, the man who runs
the dog park, my humans
Preferred Contact Method
whistle
~ J R Turek
What a hoot and at this late hour – well done! Favourite line: …but no kale,
broccoli, spinach, nothing green
Thanks! I was grasping at straws to find a fresh idea. I, too, dislike kale. : )
Greatly enjoyed. Will you write my CV?
Thanks!
Of course! : )
Love this. Though my Chiweenie would disagree- he loves edamame, zucchini, peas, limas and asparagus. I don’t give him much asparagus. But this application is so much fun! Well done.
Mine actually love broccoli, lettuce, and yes asparagus though it is rare — one of ours is 160 lbs and that’s a lot of flatulence! : ) Thank you!
Hilarious!
Thanks — we have lots of inspiration here!
My dog loves this, but wants salmon skin as her fee for sitting while I read it.
Lol — rewards come in all shapes and sizes!