Birthday Party

The sun is shining
The wind is blowing
The sky is clear and blue
The grass and trees mostly green with life
It’s a good day
For a party
Friends and family gathered
Enjoying food and conversation
Children playing in the water
Screams of delight resonating
Sitting amongst these energies of life
It was worth the drive

All It Takes

All it takes is a picture
A simple social media post
An update of how well he’s doing
And there’s a twinge in my heart

All it takes is a few drops
Of summer rain cascading from the sky
A reminder of things she loved
And the aching begins

All it takes is a story
Of someone’s snide remark
Memories, unpleasant, come rushing in
And my anxiety is triggered

All it takes is an embrace
Enveloping and tight
No words spoken
And I can breathe again

Nature’s Symphony

The thundering sound of wind
As it rushes past me
The “sh, sh, sh” of the trees
As their branches sway
Rays of warmth and light
Dancing across my skin
The chirping and clicking
Of crawling insects
The sweet pitches of birdsongs
High up in the boughs
The chittering of critters
Scurrying about
I close my eyes
Breathing in the smells
My heart beating in time
Allow myself to melt into
The din of life around me
I’m part of the symphony now, too.

Always, Never

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride
That’s what they say
But there’s so much more to me
Than my marital or relationship status

How about
Always kind, never cruel
Or maybe even
Always thoughtful, never superficial

Always helpful, never neglectful
Always smiling, never sad
Always enthusiastic, never a drag
Always hopeful, never doubtful

Always sees the best in others
Never belittles or derides
Always wanting to make you smile
Never wanting to hurt you

Never is s strong word
So final and concrete
Life isn’t always so absolute
Maybe “not always” would fit better?

Always supportive, not always supported
Always dreaming, not always achieving
Always here to please, not always satisfied
Always behind the scenes, not always center stage

Always doing more, not always appreciated
Always fighting, not always winning
Always have things to say, not always heard
Always a little sister, not always an equal

I am more than my social standing
More than my failures and shortcomings
I am more than society sees
More than people realize

Card Game Memories

Invitation to play
Teaching the rules
Preparing
The game begins

Card after card is played
Occasional rule reminders
We pick up speed
As my opponent catches on

Flashbacks to high school
Friends gathered around a desk
Waiting in anticipation
New comers “slapping in”

Something inside me stirs
Long dormant in my soul
A kind of sleeping fae awakens
Ready to play once more

The joy of simpler times
Laughter amongst friends
The warmth of fond memories
The freedom from “real life” problems

Oh how I miss those days
Of teenage ignorance and bliss
They weren’t perfect, not at all
But that’s why the memories mean so much.

Fox On the Playground

Snow covered wood chips
Chill in the air
Beneath the structure
A gray fox
Children and teachers
Observe from a distance
Filled with awe and caution
Of the gray fox

The Lake

Moving across the water’s surface
Soft breeze dancing across my face
Little birds singing their songs
Sun rising in the east
Come sit here with me
Beside the lake
And listen
Let go
Be

Unexpected Impulse

Late night conversation
Sitting on your couch
Nothing out of the ordinary
Just two friends
Enjoying each other’s company

I looked at you and something
Stirred inside of me
I took in your face
Your smile, your laugh
Your entire being

You turned to me
Your dark eyes staring
Without hesitation
Without reservation
I pressed my lips to yours

You didn’t move
Didn’t push away
Half a second dragged
Into eternity
The world was heaven

As quickly as it happened
I came back to myself
I realized exactly
What I had done
And pulled away

Another eternal second
As I took in your face again
Your smile replaced by confusion
Your laugh now silent
Your whole body frozen

My cheeks flush in embarrassment
I stammer out an apology
As quickly as I’d kissed you
I was on my feet
And running away

It was an impulse
A split second decision
I hadn’t planned it
I didn’t even know
I wanted to do it

A split second
And everything
Has changed

Depression

Draining of life
Encompassed in an unseen weight
Pretending it’s okay
Regretting
Emotionally exhausted
Sorrow hanging like a cloud
Should I just
Ignore it
Or
Not?

Hidden Anxiety

I suspected that
You were inside me, hiding
But didn’t know how much

I’ll try to ignore
Tell myself I’ll be okay
As my tears run down

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