In order to explore

the depths of my soul

I bought a diving bell.

Sparing no expense,

I also hired a professional crew

(like the ones you’d see on one of those over-produced documentaries)

I even hired a research professor from an Ivy league university,

Just for good measure.

We planned, prepared and trained

for what seemed like forever

for the mission of a lifetime.

When the long-anticipated day finally arrived,

the bell christened, stocked, staffed

and with great fanfare slowly lowered into my soul

There was only one problem…

I wasn’t in there