Before Darkness

I counted each little finger and toe

So I knew how many should be there

When I woke up

 

Before Darkness

I would hum a certain tune

Over and over, starting from the beginning

If i were interrupted by thought or sound

So I knew that I would wake up breathing

 

Before Darkness

I washed my hands, trying to achieve

Perfect thoughtlessness

So I knew that my family members would be safe

 

Before Darkness

I avoided staring at the thing in my room

That I couldn’t get rid of

That I couldn’t stop thinking of

The bad luck charm

So I would wake up the next day

 

Before Darkness

I gave into the darkness

Only sleep was a respite in the sun

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