times like these

dear M———

at times like these : my thoughts turn : once again

would i have been happier : if i remained here : if i never met : never loved : never lost : you : if i stayed : where i grew up : like so many of my friends : & married a girl : i went to school with : & did some kind of work : farm work : or in a vineyard : i suppose : i don’t really know : had my quota of kids : my house : my mortgage : coached a local sports team : lived : my share : of the Australian dream

if those five years : with you : never happened : if my heart : didn’t ache — every day for what i lost

for that madness : that glory : that intoxication : that honey : that sunshine : that bird wing : that waterfall : that beehive buzz : that cigarette burn : that sea salt : that sugar rush : that open door : that glimpse of white ; that spark rising from the fire = that leaf in the stream = that droplet that prisms a rainbow = that unique flake of snow = that light in the sky = that helicopter seed = that dandelion ball = the morning dew