what is it like to walk in my

footsteps to see what killed

you curled at the bottom of

unopened tequila bottles

in my kitchen like

 

you’re not sure if it’s your

reflection or your pride I

keep chasing but our eyes

are the same shade of blue and

time has turned itself inside

out for you

 

father

 

what’s it like

to watch pieces of your daughter’s

liver die / you left until there was

nowhere else to go I do

the shot straight no chaser standing

before the mirror staring into the

lines of my face of what’s left

of you there

 

father

 

you never understood why people

would drink alcohol but

the tequila burns away the smell

of hospital rooms the crackle of the fire

in the nursing home the last time you

said goodbye my mother’s tears

set into my shoulder like a scar

 

and father some nights like

tonight the tequila helps me

miss you