Dear former Idealistic Self, 20 Years Ago,

Twenty years is a blink, but you already know the relativity of time.
So listen, and change course.
The path you’re on, though good, is not the right path for you.
You feel lost and you’re searching for anything to give you stable ground.
But that ground leads you away from your dreams,
to a dead end that you’ll never forgive yourself for.
Don’t believe the lie that you were called.
You already know what you were born to do.
You’ll have to fight to do it, to make a way, but you can.

You’re an idealist, who gets a bad rap because you see reality, too.
As heartbroken as you feel, your hopes rise just as much.
But you must temper that hope with wisdom.
I’m so sorry to tell you, there are no miraculous doors that open.
You fight for everything, as you always have.
You are strong, even when you are at your weakest.
But don’t waste time hating that strength.
Be the Amazon you love. You’ll never bring her to life on screens of silver,
but you are a gladiator.
This is your path, though I know you do not want it.

Listen to your head before you go on your year long Academy adventure.
Don’t let religion brain wash you into believing in “the one”.
Use that year to build your dreams and education upon.
Don’t wait and flounder like I did.
Write, write, write, and write… one day you won’t have as much time.
And when you return home, let yourself get lost in the city.
Everyone else knows where you are, they’ll help you find your way.

You bear the weight of the world on your shoulders.
But none of it is your fault.
You must learn to cast the weight off, like a ball into the ocean.
Be brave and ask for all those things you don’t yet know how to do.
Answers will be given, then you can create the doors you want to open.

You have twenty years ahead of you.
Live them better than I did.