release from the clutches of consciousness
into slumber:
the glistening black void that rests the body
that ends constant tire and dishevelement.
When the words no longer have to fall clumsily on to the monitor
but can flow freely beyond meaning and recognition
This makes me think of stream-of-consciousness writing…which is wonderful.
I like it!
I get the sense of free-flow in almost every line and that’s a good thing.
You have a number of hard “k” sounds in here, and the only one that bugged me is in the fourth line. I wanted to suggest you could soften the word “constant” to “incessant” , and that gives you more “ss” to go with the other “ss” sounds…
Of course, this isn’t a deal-breaker in the flow…it’s just the only thing that interrupted me.