Lying–8am

I can’t explain
why I’m here
whether by someone
else’s hand-
or by my own design
I’m dying

Shunned by everyone
I once called friend
brother
sister
no one care about-
or for me
I’m alone

Choices I’ve made
Steps I’ve taken
anxiety
depressed
not sure of the destination
I’m restless and traveling

Easy to forge your own
path
make decisions
not look back
kept in the dark
no chance to save
I’m left to my own devices

Haven’t had to include you
Haven’t called you
seen you
touched you
and that’s ok-
I’m happy

Clock’s growing late
plans were made
deals sealed
offers made
quid pro quo
now it’s time to pay up
I’m free

No more pain
I can’t go any further
looked for rescue
and none came
cold, cold dirt
hides the shame
I’m underground

You couldn’t see I hurt
you hurt me
with your decisions
but that only covered up
I was hurting myself too
I had an addiction

I was suicidal
I was isolated
depressed-no hope at all
Broken- didn’t believe in myself
Happy-this was a decision made
with the utmost care

I guess I can finally explain
why I’m here underground
dead

Because I learned to lie-
And everyone believed me

–Inspired by Ty Herndon’s
“I am the Man”

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