Last Thursday, the trees went missing
Every last one of them, roots and all
Search parties were sent out
Distraught environmentalists held candlelight vigils
Tree experts were called in, profiles were made
Protocols were followed. Nothing.
The fugitives are at large, the DA’s office said
We are doing everything we can
Suspects were rounded up and brought in for questioning
A cigar and a table were held back as possible leads
A natural photography book broke down
Meanwhile, a team was sifting soil round the clock looking for roots
A naturalist spending the weekend at a nudist camp
Suddenly noticed it was raining on the moon
Observatories confirmed: The delinquent trees had indeed relocated
And were currently giving us the finger