Second Hour

Most days people can tell you

Who I am

What I’m like

Where I go

When I do things

Why I do the things I do

How I accomplish it all

 

That’s ok-

To live life sometimes

You have to be an open book

Other times?

 

Keep them guessing

 

I’ve got the weekend off

A little cash

A fuck it attitude

And no cares

 

I wanna do something

not me

Go out to the Red light district

Find someone to see

Maybe have sex-

Maybe not

We’ll see

 

Go out have my first

taste of whiskey

Make some new friends

Maybe see where it all leads

 

I wanna go outside the box

Clubbing

Drinking

Sexing

 

No worries on the time

or who I’d run into

Give into all my desires

just going Friday til Sunday

 

Maybe find the love of my life

Maybe see what other people

do for fun

 

The time for fun is dwindling down

and so is my night on the town

Come Monday morning–

I’ll be back to straight laced

me

 

An open book for all to see

 

First Hour

It’s going to hurt

for so long

I just want it to end

 

I have so much pain

inside

It’s gotta come out somehow

 

No one noticed the pain

How could they?

They’ve got their own

I’m not the only one

 

I just don’t understand

How could God come to

take her home with him

Why I found her

Why the image won’t leave

 

You had such a beautiful smile

grace

way about you

and I don’t even remember

your voice

 

I have pictures to remind me

of your smile and how

you look

but it’s no substitute

for hav ing you here

 

I took you for granted

so many times

I had child like fantasies

where you would always

be here and Dad would

be my knight in shining armor

 

I really need to punch

something

But what?

Anything to get my

pain out

By any means necessary

 

I’m survivng

Barely

Just barely holding

my head above the

flood

that threatens to bury me

 

I’m drowning-

Just drowning to

the point of being

overcome

 

I can’t find a way

to get out from under

this

It’s choking me

hands around my throat

Squeezing tight

Can’t breathe

 

One second I’m

Happy, laughing

Next?

Angry and so ready to

punch something

 

Lying here alone

I need you here

You made living easy