Caffeine patrols, Sugar rush Guilty as charged We keep marchin' on. A brand new world awaits me today Imagination is on the loose and creativity re-fueled. Let's paint this town red. -Janice Raquela Mendonca
“The land knows you, even when you are lost.”
Rich and Raw Unblemished and pure Wild and free Mother Nature The earth runs in my veins her soil feeds my hunger affinity divine kinship and familiarity, You give unto me. Nurture so sublime. A perfect balance Harmony of a kind You provide We thrive upon your providence. Sustenance dependence Mother nature is the gift that keeps giving, -Janice Raquela Mendonca
People are complex and sophisticated though hopeless and helpless when left to their own devices.
I thought I was the only one trapped in the endless circle complexities of life decisions and consequences. Carrying around this weight I just couldn't shake off. It refused to leave I kept running away and kept postponing my plans for dealing with it. It only grew heavier. Not acknowledging it and addressing it only made things harder. Everyone has their own share of devils to deal with at any given time. You have no idea what the person sitting next to you is going through. Could be completely broken or defeated. I guess in a way I take comfort in the fact that I am not the only one stuck the reassurance itself is enough.. it's comforting to know 'I am not alone.' It gives me the strength to carry on... when I don't want to. -Janice Raquela Mendonca
in sheer screaming
have become darkness
as you fall.
Dear 20 year old Janice, Not much has changed huh? Insecurities still going strong. This letter is going to be a mix of everything, regrets, advice, hopes and aspirations.. I hope you remember to smile often, And practice Kindness.. Be kind to yourself as well as towards others. You are doing a good job. You are such a strong and brave young woman. You inspire me. I haven't been as strong as I was when I was 20. Fighting for your life, Hanging onto a very thin thread, and the unpredictability of your health condition. You handled it gracefully and the best you could. Sure you missed out on a great deal of normal things kids at 20 do, but, that's okay. Looking back I recall it being an adventure of a lifetime. I wish you could have appreciated your parents and acknowledged the sacrifices mum pulled in for you. Dad worked tirelessly to pay the surmounting hospital bills and Wendy grew up without any assistance. Have a little patience, It's okay to fail, Love yourself. Believe in yourself. Stay true to yourself. The future is bright and all of this will be over you, just be patient, Hang on, the struggle isn't over, There's more struggle coming along... you still got fight left in you give it your best shot. Don't worry, Let go, You don't need to be in control of every situation. Not everyone is going to agree with you and like you but that's okay. Not everyone is going to understand you, that's fine. Don't sell yourself short Never ever compromise on your self worth. Remember some people are assholes there's not much you can do about that. Love from the future. -Janice Raquela Mendonca
Damn...That night was extra ordinary, A stunning thick blanket of stars.... The night called in a hush A somber reverie, A settling fog that intended to stay. Moonbeam poured a pale milky white ray like lights of pearls accompanying the stars. I cradled my warm coffee I knew not which way led to my destination my heart only followed the docks. And the fir trees that lined my horizon in the distance. -Janice Raquela Mendonca
Our lives are terribly tiny.
raise your glass in honor,
every human emotion, and flaw,
every achievement and failure.
Such a human condition,
The essence of a person’s life can
be merely encapsulated in a few
simple and humble words.
Describing with accuracy the complications
of our intertwined lives.
-Janice Raquela Mendonca
She had her flaws,
She expected him to change
She was stubborn, controlling and demanding..
He had his fair share of flaws,
he expected her to change
Clumsy, pig headed and a hypocrite.
Their marriage failed.
-Janice Raquela Mendonca
Rolling Hills and cedar trees. that's our meeting place, where we dance with abandon, running towards each other frantically. Rolling down over rolling hills Dancing naked around bonfires you strum your guitar and utter my name and it sounds like a song. The sweetest lie the hardest truth both meet here in this moment. I'm almost afraid to admit I'm falling for you. Our hearts beat wild breaking free from our rib cages with just a touch and a glance. You light up the fire in my heart. You carve a place for yourself in my soul. You intoxicate my senses. You hold me close look straight into my eyes bashful and unapologetic Talk is cheap and... baby we're better than that. You skip the small talk jump straight for the hard questions. that's when I fell in love with you. -Janice Raquela Mendonca
It tastes like grit against your teeth and ash upon your tongue. It feels a lot like broken bones and torn muscles from a boxing fight.
Humiliating, Pitiful endless agony, and a learning curve Feels like being stuck with no way to make a way. So you grovel in your existence. You start building a house and making yourself comfortable. ____________ If there's a rebel within you, start a revolution. Shout out to the stars asking for help to provide you with direction, To help make things clearer and easier. All your power and advantage is used against you, Rewiring you to think and act differently. But, the thing that gets me the most is we as humans are designed to be a superior creation, so our problems are not simple. and the solutions are often complicated and not complied. But, still despite it all, we cling to our hopes, we define ourselves by the amount of successes and trophies that decorate our shelves. How come we don't define ourselves and measure our worth based on how many lessons we learned from the countless failures we accumulate but, never seem to acknowledge their existence. It's the mentality that needs to change our attitude our perception. Only then can we unstuck ourselves from rock bottom, moving upwards. Growing, blossoming to be better versions of ourselves. I believe so long as each one of us are living we are bound to make mistakes, we must learn from them. We must ornate our shelves with the lessons we have learned, from the mistakes we have made. The day you die the lesson is over. Life itself is the biggest lesson. It teaches you everything you were destined to learn in your crazy lifetime. -Janice Raquela Mendonca